Yesterday I went to breakfast with my husband
now... just so you have a visual,
this is what the waiter looked like..
the waiter brings us the food
he places my plate in front of me
- one of the pieces of toast in teetering dangerously
on the edge and before I could save it... it somersaults
over the side and landed on the filth infested floor
I looked down with sadness
then I did what most people would do
I looked to my husband and said "FUCK!"
now.. the waiter is standing there pouring coffee and he says...
"such language"
*I think to myself.... first off pally, I wasn't talking to you
and secondly I don't value your opinion so fuck off ..
third... you should really concentrate more on taking care of that uni brow
rather than what I have to say
fourth, you're a shitty waiter.
I looked at him and said..
"I dropped my toast
and that provoked profanity"
he replies "oh I'll get you more toast"
then he walks away.. never to return
He didn't bring me more toast - that lying son of a bitch
I was tempted to tip the entire table over when we were
done eating, then jump up and down in the middle of the restaurant
and yell fuck a few times..
but I refrained.
*this has been another fascinating post from casual slack
I think you have a black clowd hanging over your head AND
ReplyDeleteyou need anger management classes.
you're welcome
I'll bring you more toast. what kind of jelly do you want?
ReplyDeleteI like black berry
ReplyDeletebut I'll take grape...
This goes along with my post today about praying at work - not that I do, mind you. Uh! Work, that is. Paying? Well, when I play the lottery...
ReplyDeleteI think this would make a nice installment for the "Dullest Story Ever Told" series.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of toast was it? For years I always ordered "Texas" or "Greek" toast. Recently, I've begun ordering "wheat" toast and it freaks my wife out.
"such language"... hahahhaaa. Personally, Jen, you showed great restraint, in spite of your "pig latin".
ReplyDeleteI hope you didn't tip him.
Btw, "clowd".... hahahaaaa!!! Have another beer, Teri.
ReplyDeleteI hope you tipped Liarboy 4 cents. If you leave no tip, they think you forgot. 4 cents, like a horse's head in bed, sends a message.
ReplyDeleteWOW, all that over toast.
ReplyDeleteyeah, Dick, I thought that word looked funny.
ReplyDeletehahahahaha
You should bomb that place. That will teach the lying bastard.
ReplyDeleteNothing but NOTHING angers me more than bad service at an eating establishment. And I am a pretty mellow gal, so I understand your pain completely.
ReplyDeleteTeri if you are taking orders, I'll have wheat toast with sugar free strawberry jam :)
Thanks so much.
coming right up, Mel.
ReplyDeletewould you like some tea or coffee with the toast?
Teri, maybe you were thinking "clown"? You know, as in having "a black clown hanging over your head"? On the other hand, maybe not. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree, Jen needs anger management classes. After this incident, I'm terrified of her.
Shoulda flipped the fuckin table!
ReplyDeleteFor the dullest story ever told, it sure generated a lot of comments.
ReplyDeleteDid you leave a tip in the form of a note that said "Bring me some more fucking toast like you promised next time"?
ReplyDeleteDid you leave a tip in the form of a note that said "Bring me some more fucking toast like you promised next time"?
ReplyDeleteI wonder if anybody orders mint jelly for their toast when they go out to eat for breakfast. Or when they order a PB&J, do they ask for mint jelly. I've always been curious how it tastes but am afraid to try it...
ReplyDeleteI like you Jen.
ReplyDeleteI like you too
ReplyDelete=)
My husband and I had a bad restaurant experience where we left a 1 cent tip. We paid at a cash register.
ReplyDeleteAs we were leaving, I could see the waitress out of the corner of my eye storm to the hostess. She said, "What's wrong with them?"
I hope you left him a penny.
Jen used to say that to me. And mean it.
ReplyDelete.... although, I must say I've always sensed a twinge of jealousy on her part because it's me, not her, embraced in Bill's strong, masculine arms. Well that and the fact that I won't let her borrow this dress...
ReplyDelete