come on! it couldn't have been total shit unless you were sick as a dog, santa gave you coal instead of presents and if you still did NOT get that snoopy snow cone machine.
Mine was wonderful. We had the family and a few friends over and laughed all night. Sorry yours wasn't that good, but there is always next year. You can come to my house. I guarentee you a good time.
You would probably have had a better Christmas if you had just slapped the shit out of brother and kicked him out of the house. Santa would have understood.
Ahhh, I love the honesty Jenster! Groover here in CA (don't hate me because it's 70 outside).
Mine SUCKED bigtime. From the second I walked into my folks house my dad went into judgment mode.
My pops has this mental expectation the way the family should be. Evidently, I fall short in every area. I didn't open gifts correctly, I wasn't playing the smile at every twist game, I wasn't...
My sister was in from Manhattan and we never got along for some reason. The tension was thick and my folks live in deep denial about everything..."La de daaa" so nothing is ever dealt with.
My dad drank too much wine at dinner and went on a total rant about why the local politicians will never correct the terrible parking conditions of the local Costco.
Okaaaay. Snore. Shut up dude...you never show any emotions like a robot, and now you go off on a parking lot.
At this stage, my back injury hurt so bad I said goodnight.
Well, mine wasn't so bad. Turns out, since I underpaid my servants all year, I had plenty left over to spend on me and the kids. Of course, the servants couldn't go to the authorities as they were undocumented illegal aliens, so I really had them up against a corner. But I'll have to give them credit, they certainly earned their annual $3,000 salaries. You should have seen their faces when I told them they weren't getting their annual bonuses. Some started to cry. I actually laughed so hard I was in tears myself.
I'm sure you're ALL wondering where I've been lately. Well, I've been undergoing surgery. That's right, I've had a couple of breast implants. I went from a size A to a Double D practically overnight.
well,
Why was that, Jen?
ReplyDeleteMy Christmas was great. I'm sorry yours sucked, Jen.
ReplyDeleteYeouch. Apparently better than yours?
ReplyDeleteOh man, I'm sorry, hon. you deserve a lot better than that.
ReplyDeleteWhile mine could have been alot worse, it could have been better, too.
ReplyDeletecome on! it couldn't have been total shit unless you were sick as a dog, santa gave you coal instead of presents and if you still did NOT get that snoopy snow cone machine.
ReplyDeleteThat's the kind of brutal honesty I expect from you, Jen. I hope things improve.
ReplyDeleteThat was very witty, Teri. Your sense of humor's "improving". "Really".
ReplyDeleteMine was wonderful. We had the family and a few friends over and laughed all night. Sorry yours wasn't that good, but there is always next year. You can come to my house. I guarentee you a good time.
ReplyDeleteMine was great in spite of it all, I am sorry yours was bad!! You deserve that snoopy snow cone maker more than anyone I know!
ReplyDeleteWe just hung around the old homestead, not doing anything but getting cranky with each other - sound familiar?
ReplyDeletethanks kids,
ReplyDeleteXMAS
summed up:
1. I was sick
2. Dysfunctional family
(my brother ruined everything)
3. No snoopy sno-cone
machine
**SIGH**
the end
do you want Dick to make a "hit" on your brother?
ReplyDeleteI hate when family members ruin things.
Awww Jen, sorry to hear that. Family can be very over-rated.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I never get what I really want either....real estate!
ReplyDeleteYou would probably have had a better Christmas if you had just slapped the shit out of brother and kicked him out of the house. Santa would have understood.
ReplyDeleteTotally fucking awesome actually.
ReplyDeleteSorry.
Ahhh, I love the honesty Jenster! Groover here in CA (don't hate me because it's 70 outside).
ReplyDeleteMine SUCKED bigtime. From the second I walked into my folks house my dad went into judgment mode.
My pops has this mental expectation the way the family should be. Evidently, I fall short in every area. I didn't open gifts correctly, I wasn't playing the smile at every twist game, I wasn't...
My sister was in from Manhattan and we never got along for some reason. The tension was thick and my folks live in deep denial about everything..."La de daaa" so nothing is ever dealt with.
My dad drank too much wine at dinner and went on a total rant about why the local politicians will never correct the terrible parking conditions of the local Costco.
Okaaaay. Snore. Shut up dude...you never show any emotions like a robot, and now you go off on a parking lot.
At this stage, my back injury hurt so bad I said goodnight.
If its any consolation...you have the world's cutest cat. No sno-cone maker can replace that!
ReplyDeleteWell, mine wasn't so bad.
ReplyDeleteTurns out, since I underpaid my servants all year, I had plenty left over to spend on me and the kids.
Of course, the servants couldn't go to the authorities as they were undocumented illegal aliens, so I really had them up against a corner. But I'll have to give them credit, they certainly earned their annual $3,000 salaries. You should have seen their faces when I told them they weren't getting their annual bonuses. Some started to cry. I actually laughed so hard I was in tears myself.
Sorry to hear it sucked.
ReplyDeleteDr Mom - $3000!!! Wayyy to much! Unless you mean Peso's?
Definitely way too much.
ReplyDeleteLosers.
I'm sure you're ALL wondering where I've been lately. Well, I've been undergoing surgery. That's right, I've had a couple of breast implants. I went from a size A to a Double D practically overnight.
ReplyDeletepoor jen should have come to my house next time you'll know better I'm always more fun.
ReplyDeleteWhy would you let family around you at Christmas? It's your own fault. As long as you don't have a Crappy New Year, all may not be lost.
ReplyDeleteDr Mom has been taken over by the spirit of Anna Nicole Smith.
ReplyDeleteOh, and by spirit, I mean attention grabbing & body changing NOT drug, alcohol & skankifying.
(unless you know her REALLY well)
Dick, knock it off. Dr. Mom did not have surgery....
ReplyDeleteDick wouldnt lie teri..
ReplyDeleteWell, she could have...
ReplyDeleteI mean, how well do we really know this person, anyway.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
ReplyDelete