There's a new saleswoman
at the office
I made you a visual
She looks like this
<--------
Here is an actual conversation that took place today:
Crazy: Staring at the fax machine.. cautiously walking around it
with a scared/baffled look like a meteorite had just crashed into
the office...mumbles something...
"How do I do this again?" Another coworker explains it to her
for the 15th time. I pretend I'm busy.. I want no part of this...
She gets ready to dial the fax number
"OH I didn't get the fax number I got the email instead
that won't work will it???"
Me: "What? the email address? uhh, no you need the fax number
to send a fax"
Crazy: angry..."Well I didn't get the fax number!!"
Me: *pause* well, you'll need that to send a fax...
I don't make the rules
Crazy: "You know who's still getting awards?"
Me: "what?"
Crazy: "Elvis Presley"
Me: (thinking to myself .. oh god please not Elvis again) "yeah?"
Crazy: "That's right, he got an award for love me tender
(She actually sang a few verses for me)
although I feel he was too young at the time for some of the words
in that particular song.." then she went on this Elvis tangent about
some show in Vegas and a guys wig falling off and Elvis laughing.. I had no
fucking clue what she was talking about
so I smiled and nodded. and prayed for it to end soon
Me: "Wow.. still getting awards huh?"
Crazy: "Thank you for all your help today, you've been very helpful"
Me: "okay then"
-insanity is a prerequisite at my workplace
15 comments:
What will happen when you show her the copier that can send emails?
Maybe you can also try speaking crazy to her first...you know how you do when you walk around mumbling to your selves, a little drooly, throw in some stink eye?
You need to get up in her face about twice a day for a week and whisper in the most menacing voice you can do, "Fucking peanuts". Then you can help for the search for her replacement.
Maybe she's just not 'cut-out' for the office. Maybe she should consider pursuing another career avenue. Like daycare. Or driving a school bus.
I'm actually a little jealous, we don't have crazies that work with me, only that come in.
Meh.
I think Elvis came by Sayyy Whaaat? and mentioned this event. See for youself!
http://sayyywhaat.blogspot.com
Hmmm, it looks like my crazy aunt is out in the workforce again.
Tell her that her fax will not send through WITHOUT a stamp.
Oh, also ask if as a teenager she worked at Hortons? They hire morons there too!
It's amazing how many people are technology challenged. What does email have to do with faxing?
Get out while you still can. There may still be time to restore your mental health. Working with crazy people could drive you to do bad things.
I'll pray for you.
Wow... I think she escaped from our asylum of bussines
Even mental patients need to work!!
Maybe RI is a big mental state. You should move. ;-)
Oh My, My various jobs have been blessed with several of those, but my favorite was the one who did a 1000 collated copies but with page 2 in front of page 1.
She very dutifully was taking them two pages at a time and putting them in the correct order until I came along and moved the top sheet to the bottom of the stack.
We have the never-ending rubberband fight that starts up again as soon as the bosses leave. The accounting department doesn't answer phones (thank dog) and think it's hysterical to run hooting through the office-while we still try to answer phones over the screams.
Evil she-countant got one right in the eye the other day. It made my week, and I wan't even there for it. My office is filled with third-graders, it's my CUSTOMERS who bring the crazy.
That is some fucked up shit.
hahahaha!!! So you have the coveted slot next to the fax machine?? Lucky dog.
Try mentioning to her that Elvis never wrote a song. That would be fun.
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