it's just lunch

my friend Ann
brought me this salad for lunch
she equipped it with sunflower seeds,
croutons.. the whole nine yards!

envy me

*thanks friend

the office

Season Finale of the Office
-rocked-

snuffy

PSA - Snuffy the talking fire engine

I think Snuffy starts the fires
I don't trust him...

pie crust

Flashback
circa 1993

I've mentioned in recent posts
I was employed by a supermarket in my youth..

Most of the time was spent goofing off
if you can imagine that

I was never where I was supposed to be..
often wandering about.. here and there

One day I decide to help my buddy
Derek in the deli department..
He says to me..
"Here, clean this knife for me"

the knife was very similar to
the knife Indiana Jones wielded...


so Im cleaning this knife
washed it in the sink
it's spotless!!

now it's time to dry

I'm busy jabbering away
about what.. I don't remember




Distracted...
my middle finger on my right hand
ACCIDENTALLY brushes over the blade just as I'm pulling
it through some paper towels to dry it off

at the top of my lungs I proclaim
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all the customers in line
turned their heads at the same time - trying to
get a glimpse of the blood shed

Derek says..
"Ohhh what did you do"

I reply
"Nothing..."

as blood spurts everywhere
down my sleeve, puddling onto the floor

I say
"I gotta go.."

I cup my hand.. I apply pressure to the wound..
there's a pool of blood
running over my hand like niagara falls

I leave the deli area
an old woman approaches me
she looks down at my hand
then she looks up at me
and says in a loud irritated voice

"Where's the ready made pie crust?"

I look at her in disbelief
I'm bleeding over here!

I motion to the dairy case with my head
"it's over there"

I start to walk away

"Well I looked there I couldn't find it!!"

*Sigh*

I walk her over to the 'Pie crust area'
leaving a trail of blood behind me...

she takes a box
she leaves









no "thanks for helping me find pie crust while
you lose blood..." nothing!!!

The moral of the story?
People don't care if you're bleeding
they want their fucking pie crust
and they want it now



the end



*this has been another fascinating post from casual slack

random find

revelation

revelation:
I have never had a
pomegranate

Am I missing out
on something great?

I'm not impressed with
the visual aspect

clip of the day

hot guy
on the dance floor..
go here

clip

O’Reilly
Screaming Rampage
go here

Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

I gotta bad cold
Sick co-worker used MY phone
vengeance will be swift

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

fun facts

Fascinating fun facts
- go here

Hey, I have tested 9 volt batteries
on my tongue - I survived!

stupid people

There was this girl in high school
she would mix "creme de menthe" & "sprite"
and put it in a hairspray bottle

Then she would spray it into her mouth
while she was in the bathroom

what a fucking idiot

I'm guessing she's working for NASA now...
or maybe she's a cashier at a gas station
not sure...

random find

"Gumfighting do's and don'ts..."

Hubba Bubba Blueberry
Gum Was My Fave

*retro-tavern.blogspot.com*

all that glitters is gold?

101 Versions of
Stairway to Heaven

go here

clip

Mother's Day
by mittymoo

go here

random fact

I found these in a box in my basement..

When I was 14 years old
I got me a job at "Almacs"
(Stayed until I was 21 or 22 and I had lots of fun)

they are long since gone...

FACT:

I Was Never Happy to Help Anyone

This is probably why they went out of business
It's all my fault

new blog alert

Another blog...
until I get bored with it

Retro: of or designating the style of an earlier time
Tavern: a public house for travelers

retro-tavern.blogspot.com

link me and shall I'll link u back
- just leave a comment so I know -

thank you
& goodnight

Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

Hey! You're not my boss!
You can't tell me what to do
SCRAM! you're a jack ass...

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

link

Refacing

Government Tender
clicky here

stinker

So...
Yesterday
I'm driving in the Walmart parking lot
and then I see it..

A 1984 chevy caprice..
with two senior citizens
cruising around at 10 mph
and there in the back window
a homemade sign

securely fastened
with about 10,000 pieces of scotch tape

"DON'T BE A STINKER
USE YOUR BLINKER"

I scramble for my camera...
I raise - I aim - I focus
Then my battery died..

"FUCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!"

So you'll just have to take my word for it


the end

Favor!

Do Me A Favor Kids

Vote for my Pal Angela (A.K.A 2Fools)
Her Daughter Mia
is in this contest
"Baby Idol"
on a local radio station
go here

Brimley

5 Cats
that look like
Wilford Brimley
go here

stanley

Did I Stutter?

a conversation

A conversation that took place
between a co-worker and myself
this morning...


Co - Worker - "I just hit a Guatemalan"

Me - "With your car or your fist?"

Co - Worker - "My car"

Me - "Did it leave a mark?"

Co - Worker - "No"

Me - "Well.. that's good"

Co - Worker - "Yeah" *then she walks off*

Me - "Okay then, bye"



the end

Reggie Bar

I dunno about you..
But I could go for a Reggie Bar

meet you at the mat

Let's all go to Fotomat

random find

why?

clip

I heard Indian Baby Tossing
is making it's debut at the
Beijing 2008 Olympic Games

clicky here

feasible

Have you visited my other blog lately?
feefeasibleprophecies.blogspot.com

it's worth the trip
just sayin'

tagged

Mr. trukindog tagged me
6 unspectacular quirks

1. Almost every pen I come in contact with -
I brake off or bend the thingy on the cap
I don't even know I'm doing it... it just happens
See..







2. I fall or trip over things a lot..
I fell twice in my yard over the weekend.

3. I can't stand silence.. I need a radio or a tv on at all times
and when I sleep.. I need the sound of the overhead fan
or my sharper image sound machine - on thunderstorm










4. Just being in a Doctors office or Hospital, gives me such anxiety...
that If I was shot.. I would rather bleed to death than go to a doctor for help.

5. I wipe my phone down at work- with alcohol ... a couple times everyday
in case anyone skanky touched it..

6. I hate "Slippers" I hate the word.. I hate the look.. I hate the concept
I won't allow them in my home... my husband got a pair for xmas one year
and I threw them out.

Just look at them.. *cringe*










* my sincerest apology to all you "slipper wearers"



TAG 6 PEOPLE - okay.. I tag
- Alex
- Sushi Boy
- Chris
- Dick
- Mr. Miller
- Hapabukbuk

Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

Ten years of my life
Working at the same old job
I lack charisma

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

Grand Theft Auto 4

There will be lots of shooting and killing
at my house very soon...

Grand Theft Auto 4
goes on sale worldwide today with expectations
that it will break sales records...
full story

This Slack Ad
Brought to you by the Great Pantaloon
sanspantaloons.blogspot.com

Don't eat it...

Check Out - Outrageous Fast Food
Clicky Here

random find

gorgeous animal

Travis makes the big time
go here

*thanks Teri

I love it

Chocolate Chex

Have I told you
about my love for this cereal?

Straight out of the box..
no milk required
just eat it

Buy some.

random find

Oh look.. it's
"Effective Strength"
as opposed to the
"Non-Effective Strength"

This shit could
Gag a maggot...

I'd rather keep coughing
thanks..

he's old

Col. Steve Austin
is 69 today

Ba na na na na na

it's true

My grandmother
(my father's mother)
Bought me a present.. once

You know what it was?

wait for it...

wait for it...





A Sugar Daddy...

Most grandparents
shower their grand kids with gifts
and make them cookies
and send money in cards and all that shit...

Nope not mine!!!!

All I ever got was one Sugar Daddy
one fucking Sugar Daddy

thanks grandma!

Pffffffffffft


You may be thinking... awwww
maybe she was poor..?!
Nope
She always had ample cash for cigarettes, poker & peach schnapps
so there goes that theory

Pffffffffffft

random find

I'm not hungry

random find

Mrs. Garrett

is looking rough these days...

never had one

I never had an
Easy-Bake Oven

I believe this is the
reason I have zero skill
in the kitchen.

Just sayin'

mul-ti-pass

Leeloo: Leeloo Dallas mul-ti-pass.

Korben Dallas: Yeah.
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: Yeah, multipass, she knows it's a multipass.
Leeloo Dallas. This is my wife.
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: We're newlyweds. Just met. You know how it is.
We bumped into each other, sparks happen...
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben Dallas: Yes, she knows it's a multipass. Anyway, we're in love.

zima

they don't talk about
zima anymore

clip of the day

Time for the horrific Clip
of the day, kids!
this video should win some
type of an award..
outstanding choreography.. acting..
cinematography..

all I can say is wow



You gotta watch all 4 minutes & 48 seconds
... you must


*on a side note: does anyone else see a resemblance to the singer
and the women of that Polygamist Cult in Texas? I think she bought her
dress from one of them...

- just sayin'

tequila

I was 12 when

I went to see this movie
with my friend Angela

We laughed the hardest at the "shoe scene"

tequila
We thought it was a cinematic masterpiece

We also thought the shoes
were custom made just for the movie
little did we know that people actual wore them
- who knew~ we were twelve!

This movie is a Tim Burton classic

Good morning, Pee Wee.
Good morning, Mr. Breakfast!
Can I have some Mr. T cereal?
OK!
I pity the foo' that don't eat Mr. T cereal!


Dottie: Hello?
Pee-wee: Hi, Dottie, it's Pee-wee!
Dottie: Pee-wee? Where are you calling from?
Pee-wee: Texas!
Dottie: Huh?
Pee-wee: Honest! I'll prove it!
[singing]
Pee-wee: The stars at night are big and bright...
Passersby: [singing and clapping] ... deep in the heart of Texas!

Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

New guy started work
My tenth grade English teacher...?!
How's that for awkward?

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

he's 40

Farmer Ted is
forty today

"Well, what I had said was I'm in the math club,
uh, the Latin, and the physics club... physics club."
- Brian Johnson

begging

And now a letter
to all the kids in my town
begging for money
outside Walmart, the supermarket,
the drug store etc. etc.


Dear Kids,
I'm not paying for your baseball uniforms,
your cheer leading field trips, your football helmet
you're hockey pucks, your shoe laces... and so on

why?
because I don't give