the office

Hey Kids, it's
THURSDAY
You Know what
that means
the Office
is on Tonight!



*Chris already beat me to it
But I'll repeat it in case you missed his post..

Episode: MAKING IT OFFICIAL
- Michael and Jan go public with their relationship during a party
at their CFO's home. At the party, Jim meets Karen's ex. Meanwhile,
the rest of the office decides to go to happy hour for drinks.

Reno 911

Hey Kids!
RENO 911 MIAMI OPENS FRIDAY
Can you feel the excitement?

clip

George Takei
responds to Tim Hardaway's
thoughts about
homosexuality

go here

just some travis

you can't deny the cuteness

woo hooo

I Can't Wait!
Trailer 3 is here - Watch it

clip

Just in case you missed that
Anna Nicole Wacked Out
Of Her Mind
In Clown Makeup clip

here it is

flashback

-FLASHBACK-

My mother lied to me - volume 1

circa 1981

On this particular occasion, I was sick...
I had a bad cough and did not want any cough syrup
because I hated the way it tasted
My mother was always pushing the fucking cough syrup...
- as usual, I refused.

And then she tried to scam me, It went something like this:
mom: You want some soda?
me: YEAH! (Who doesn't want soda when they're a kid?)
mom: okay, go watch tv and Ill bring it in to you
(I should have known something was up when she offered to bring it to me...)

She brings it in... I take a BIG mouth full of pepsi
**GAG** followed by **DRAMATIC PAUSE**
(shocked look on my face)
'this tastes very similar to cough syrup, I thought to myself'
Could it be?? Could my mother have done this to me???

I run to the kitchen - full speed
"THIS TASTES LIKE COUGH SYRUP
DID YOU PUT COUGH SYRUP IN THIS????"

her reply: no. there is nothing in it - go drink it!
mind you, the bottle of medicine was still sitting on the counter next to the pepsi
SHE LIED TO ME... LIED RIGHT TO MY FACE
(not the first time - nor the last)
Yet ANOTHER example of my parents thinking I was an absolute fucking idiot

She put vile, disgusting, cough syrup in my pepsi.
Ruining a perfectly fine beverage.

What the hell kind of warped universe was my mother living in
that she didn't think I was going to notice?

She still cannot be trusted.

But I'm not bitter..
Okay, maybe just a little bitter.

Did your parents scam you?

Tuesday Work Sucks Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

Hope it goes by fast
If not... I might kill myself
I'm about to snap

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

WABAC machine...

clip

Chad Vader
Episode 6
is here

bad clip

This morning my friend
was singing a really
lame-ass sounding song
I had never heard of it..
So I immediately went to YouTube
to find it... and to my horror
this is what I found - go here

How would you rate this video?

monday

FACT: Monday Sucks.
Presidents' Day - Most people have today off
NOT ME!!!!!

I can't stand Britney Spears

so... Britney
what do you call that?
a BuzzMullet?

You shaved it ALL off...
I personally would have kept that stylish BuzzMullet
But that's just me.

It's nice.. it looks really good on you
you've outdid yourself once again! You're so classy.

bravo!

slack product review

What is the Greatest Engineering Achievement
of the Twentieth Century?
The airplane? - no...
The assemble line? - no...
Air Conditioning & Refrigeration? - no...
The Mr. Coffee Iced Tea Maker? - YES

I love my Mr. Coffee Iced Tea Maker
just toss in 8-10 tea bags
fill it up with water- let it run
repeat the process - place in refrigerator - then wait
BAM fresh brewed tea!

If you love iced tea and don't own this product
you need to go buy one immediately - amazon.com

*this has been a casual slack product review - you're welcome

it's Friday

Happy Friday!

and now... a Friday haiku

It's finally here
I wait all week for this day
Cherish the weekend

If you have a Friday Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

the Office

Hey Kids, the Office
is on Tonight!
Epsidode:
MICHAEL GOES TO
BUSINESS SCHOOL WITH RYAN
Ryan invites Michael to be a guest speaker at his
business school. Meanwhile, Dwight battles a bat
that gets loose in the office while
Pam invites co-workers to her first art show.

I got a present

this is "Bert"
he's a salesman where I work..

real name: Robert
but I managed to get the entire office to call him "Bert"
He hated it at first.. but I think it grew on him

we also refer to him as
"Bertholomew" & "Bertrum Van Shultz"

Bert says things like:
• "what are you talking a boot" (he's Canadian)
• "cool your porridge"
• "Oh my soul!"
• "WELL DARLIN' that's the way it is"
• Along with many other unintelligible phrases
(he's a bit of a mumbler)

He amuses me.

Anyway... today
He bought me a take 5 candy bar
for Valentine's Day..







I just thought you should know.

field trip

Onemanbandwidth:
An American Professor in China

clicky on my renter! --->
hurry


Field trip kids!!

We're going to China
so dress accordingly... I think it's cold
but how the hell would I know - just dress in layers you'll be fine

As usual refreshments will be served
immediately following your visit:

This week:
Pudding (assorted flavors), pop rocks & fortune cookies,
Bud Light and Champagne
as always - clamato juice available upon request

happy

Hey Kids
Happy Friggin' Valentine's Day

scary

Mike Tyson
has a way with words.
he's lovely
here are some of his
finest moments
watch it & enjoy

slack recommendation

I was flicking through the channels
yesterday and I came across this show..
SHOOTING SIZEMORE

Has anyone seen this?
It's about Tom Sizemore hitting rock bottom
and trying to take back his life


The guy is a total train wreck!
You gotta see it...

I've only seen one episode but I DVR'd the entire season

you should check it out

this has been a slack recommendation - you're welcome

I don't like them

I don't like jolly ranchers.

there..
I said it.


My co-worker chomps on them all day long
and it makes me want to gag
I hate the way they smell- I hate the way they taste

AND
she makes that "hard candy hitting your teeth sound"
*Cringe*
then she makes that "mouth smacking" sound...

help me.
someone make it stop
MAKE IT STOP!!!

Tuesday Work Sucks Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

I am so sleepy
I want to go back to bed
eight hours of hell

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

clip

this cat
is talented...

check it out

slack movie review

I netflixed
You, Me and Dupree...

it wasn't good
I rented it because
I liked everyone that was in it
but it was boring.. not funny
...and a waste of time


Here are some thoughts that
went through my mind as I watched it

• Why doesn't Owen Wilson just get his nose fixed?
He would look so much better...

• wow.. Matt Dillon has been around a while, remember him
as Dallas in the outsiders "Let's do it for Johnny, man. We'll do it for Johnny!"

• Kate Hudson left her husband for Owen Wilson...
I wonder if they broke up yet?...probably

• I can't stand Michael Douglas

• They showed all the funny parts in the Trailer .. and they weren't THAT funny

• This sucks

- lately everything that I have rented has sucked
anybody have any good movie suggestions?

monday

The weekend went by way too fast

WORDS FOR MONDAY
1. bleak - without hope or encouragement; depressing; dreary
2. oppressive - distressing or grievous
3. suffocating - to become suffocated; stifle; smother.

it smells

My husband ate this nasty, meat like substance for dinner

as if the regular one wasn't bad enough..
they went and added 'bacon'

And let me tell you
there isn't a scented candle or incense on this planet
that can remove the stench of this rancid product from the air...

I had to open the windows and it's 23 degrees outside

How I fucking hate
s p a m

slack

"Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place."

- John Bender

friday

Hey Kids...
It's Friday!

this just in...

this just in...
Anna Nicole Smith dies

But I'm sure NO DRUGS
were involved..
Oh wait... maybe just some heroin, crack
and a little cocaine oh and some crystal meth
But that's it!


or maybe it was all the trim spa?
full story here

**Watch some of her movie acting outtakes HERE

13

Thursday Thirteen
13 random
places I have been... and lived to tell about

ready.. set... go.

1. New York City, NY so what if it smells like urine & trash
in the summer... it's NYC! So much to do... So little time. I dig this city.
2. Boston, MA Definitely my favorite city
3. Memphis, TN Beale Street... what's cooler than that?
4. Orlando, FL It's hot
5. Lexington, KY Lots of horses & fences... but beautiful
6. Cincinatti, OH meh..
7. Juneau, AK Everyone should visit Alaska at least once before they die..
8. Las Vegas, NV Love it..I got married there (as should everyone)
- But it's far too hot for me... we're talking Africa Hot
9. Gettysburg, PA Non stop excitement in this town*.. (*sarcasm)
10. Stowe, VT Quiet, beautiful, ample supplies of cheese and maple syrup
11. North Conway, NH Extremely touristy, fun none the less
12. Bar Harbor, ME Moose & lobster
13. Providence, RI *sigh*

the office

Hey Kids,
the Office is gonna
be good Tonight!

Epsidode: HERE COMES THE BRIDE -
Phyllis regrets giving Michael an important job at
her wedding after several embarrassing moments.
Pam has flashbacks of her own wedding planning
when she sees Phyllis's decorations. Meanwhile,
Dwight is determined to catch wedding crashers.

Internet Superstars

the 40 Greatest
Internet Superstars

are listed at
webjunk - go here

He's Funny

Eddie Izzard
is 45 Today...

If you haven't seen
Eddie Izzard- Dress to Kill
Go Put it in your
Netflix Queue Immediately


clip here - from dress to kill

clip

Just a
cute kitten
clip from youtube
go here

just a quote

Things my Father Once Said to Me

volume one

"When you pull the car in the garage
make sure it's pulled in all the way before you close the door
or else the door will hit the car"

I never understood why
my father thought I was a complete idiot

Tuesday Work Sucks Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

How was my weekend?
I know you don't give a shit
Why bother asking??

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

lite-brite

Lite-Brite is right here

flashback

Worst Teacher Ever Flashback
Circa 1991

I don't know why this guy popped into my head today.

I had this High School art teacher
and he was a total prick
(I made you a visual) he looked like this..

He was a tiny.. little.. mean.. nasty man

And he hated me...
(Yeah .. I know it's hard to believe)

One day, I was sitting at a table during a so called
drawing class and my evil little art teacher was sitting on
the other side of the table directly across from me

He had his arms folded on the table
and his head tucked into his arms like he was sleeping
(yeah.. I went to a quality public school)
apparently he was in the process of getting a divorce..
whatever.. boo fucking hoo

so anyway...
he's got his head on the table and I say to him "Mr. F"
I need a new charcoal pencil...

he says nothing

I repeat myself.. umm "Mr. F" can I get a new pencil?
I can get it myself, where are they?

he says nothing

I say one more time
"Mr. F"...

He picks his head up AND SCREAMS
and I mean S C R E A M S
AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS

DON'T BOTHER ME!!!
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY!!!
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!
THEN He breaks the pencil
he's holding in half...
And FLINGS it across the room.
and puts his head back down
and stayed like that the entire class

everyone in the class was staring at ME...
ME... not him
Like I had just made the overdramatic scene. WTF?

What an asshole...I hated his guts

oh... the next day
he advised me not to go to apply to art school
because I wouldn't get in..

nice.

He should have been nominated for a teacher of the year award

He's probably in his 70's by now..
and I truley hope he's had a miserable life

bastard!

and that's my flashback

Anyone have a teacher worse than this?

monday

Lynda sent me this nice graphic
to sum up Monday... I think it works nicely

andy

The Great and Talented Andy

Made me this Kick Ass Ad

You're probably jealous now...
it's understandable.

Go visit Andy and maybe someday
he'll make you a kick ass ad
(it's not likey.. but what have you got to lose?)

sanspantaloons.blogspot.com

pic of the day

friday

and it's about god damn time...

Astrology songs

It's just some
Astrology songs...
by Harvey Sid Fisher

watch "Scorpio" here

there's a song for every sign...
enjoy them ALL

the Office

Hey Kids,
Don't Forget to
Watch the Office
Tonight!

Epsidode: BEN FRANKLIN
Michael enlists the help of Todd Packer
when planning Phyllis' wedding shower.