Things my Father Once Said to Me
volume one
"When you pull the car in the garage
make sure it's pulled in all the way before you close the door
or else the door will hit the car"
I never understood why
my father thought I was a complete idiot
"When you pull the car in the garage make sure it's pulled in all the way before you close the door
or else the door will hit the car"
I never understood why
my father thought I was a complete idiot
17 comments:
lmao! my mom says stuff like that to me ALL the time! I'm surprised she doesn't buy me a helmet.
Here's something Jen's dad once said to me:
"Stop fooling at the table, you're gonna choke."
Did he really think laughing hysterically at the table would cause me to abruptly suck my meatball to the back of my throat thereby choking me?
Parents think they know everything.
my dad just told me to stay out if the garage altogether. And to NEVER touch power tools. EVER. he was VERY specific.
But then he shut the drawstring to his pajama pants in the engine when closing the hood after checking the oil and was tied to his car for about an hour until I got home and let him loose. After MUCH teasing about how I wasn't allowed in the garage I let him out.. AH, good times.
Though I haven't seen a picture of you, Jen, I am sure you look smart.
To this day my mother alway's tells me not to throw my keys away as I push the garbage down the garbage shute.
A friend's mother gave this sage advice: Never leave sharp objects lying about the kitchen that someone can use to hurt you. Huh? Are there murders lurking in my kitchen?
I guess in their eyes we ARE idiots.
haha, if we had had a garage I am sure my dad would have said that too.
My mom had all these weird sayings. My favorite was "hard as a brickbat". Like "Dont eat that cake, its as hard as a brickbat!" To this day I have never figured out what a brickbat is.
My Mom always told me not to play with fire or I'd wet the bed.
Ooooookkkkaaaayyyyyy...whatever!
Parents are weird.
Mine said:
"Whatever you do, don't drive over broken glass".
I said: "Dad, I know that".
He said: "Well you just know EVERYthing, don't you???"
I ended up taking driver's ed in school. It was less stressful. On both of us.
By the way... for the rest of you who haven't seen a picture of Jen (and you never will...) though she doesn't exactly "LOOK" like her... she bears a striking personality similarity to Darlene from the Roseanne show, only more feminine.
Parents have also come up with classic lines like "Don't make me come back there" and "Don't make me get the belt out" so what can you expect?
-sj
hahhahahahah
personality similarity
maybe just a little bit
but
I most definitely
do NOT look like
Darlene... HAHAH
thankfully..
Then there were my freinds that had a tennis ball hanging right where you stoped, touching the windscreen therefore insuring a perfect placement everytime!
That whole family is very, very clean!
I always picture Jen looking like Jennifer Garner. Or is it Gardner? Let me clarify by saying Ben Affleck's wife. Maybe it is the name.
I always wondered why people had tennis balls hanging in the middle of their garage. Now I know.
I know the feeling... from both ends (well, as a Mom obviously)... Sometimes you can't help stating the obvious... but then Kids can't either, LOL
My dad told me that if I wasn't in bed by midnight to come home. He was a card alright.
I think your dad got that from Confucious. I'm pretty sure he said it first.
My favorite: You had better eat all your dinner. There are starving children in China, you know.
My response: Oh, yeah? Name one.
This explains my scars.
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