Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku

And now

the Tuesday -WORK SUCKS - Haiku


Depressing work space.
Office is full of clutter.
Most of it's my stuff...

tea

I left my iced tea on the table
I went into the kitchen for 3 seconds
t h r e e .. s e c o n d s
I came back and the cat was helping herself to
my cold, refreshing beverage.

Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku

Inspired by an old blogging buddy
the one the only Mr. Jimmy Smash™


And now... After
A far too long hiatus

I give you
the
Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku

Working Late Again
I Never Get Paid For It
I'm On Salary


Godspeed Mr. Smash, You relit my haiku fire.

don't press your luck

thanks, so much

Dear Co-worker

I just wanted to thank you!

Thanks for getting hot wieners on your lunch today,
and eating them 2 feet away from me
spilling bits and pieces all over the floor...


And then throwing your trash under your desk
so I could smell them all fucking day..

When you left at 4:00
the stink of nasty ass, hot wieners and stale ketchup
lingered in the air, right until I finally left at 7:00

So, as if my day wasn't bad enough...
for 7 long hours, I had to endure the
stink of your rancid, vile lunch.



awesome

it's just a cat in the box

Riley A.K.A "the peanut"

Link O' the day!!

www.cerealbits.com

For the cereal enthusiast

I loved me some halfsies!!
but my mother would rarely let me get them
yet another chapter of my shitty childhood...
Lack of Sugary Cereal = Lack of Fun

But at least I had the crazy ball... !


If they sold this in Rhode Island nowadays
they would be lining up for this shit!

site recommendation

I wanted to buy new sneakers

I went everywhere
Dick's Sporting Goods, Modells, Sports Authority
Every God Damn place you can think of

but apparently in
Rhode Island
it's a state law
that all womens sneakers are either
pink, purple or baby blue.

outraged... agitated... distraught
I did what I should have done in the first place
consult the
the world wide web

I found this kick ass site
behold
www.endless.com

they're cheap
the selection is amazing
AND they ship soooo fast

if you've never heard of it
you're welcome

30 years???

wow...

Caddyshack Turns 30 Years Old
This Week
here's some movie facts

My Favorite quote:
"You'll get nothing, and like it"
- Judge Elihu Smails

simpsons chart

don't let it die

I recently read this post

"Facebook and Twitter have killed blogging. That is all."
over at Mr. Nobody's™

It made me sad...
Cuz it's true

I'm gonna post more
I miss the good ol' bloggin' days.

I Slack, Therefore I am.

random find - awesome

McUnbelievable

okay.. so two weeks ago
I was on VACA

I was in one of my favorite states
NEW HAMPSHIRE..
live free... or die that's their motto

So...
we stopped at McDonald's for some McCoffee
We're standing in line and there's this loud, annoying
family in front of us I detected a southern accent
- possibly Kentucky, Indiana?
I dunno..

There was mom, grandma, grandpa, 2 young kids, one baby.

They were yapping the entire time
annoying the shit out of me.. Y'all.. Y'all... Y'all.....

At one point Grandma yells to Grandpa - "What do you want?"
He replies.... " Well I dunno.. what do they got up there?"
(looking at the menu)
Grandma replies -
"The same dang thing that every other McDonald's in the country has."
Grandpa: "They got the same thing?"


*sigh*

my blood boiling..

The McEmployee says "next"
They continue yapping... Y'all.. Y'all... Y'all.....
The McEmployee has to repeat himself two more times before they notice

Finally, they order (it took a lifetime) they step aside .. they wait.

I go to place my McOrder
and grandma steps in front of me and says to the McEmployee
"Can I get some socks?"

He replies, "sure one dollar"

now.. I'm thinking.. Socks? she must have said sauce... they sell sauce for $1.00 here? Hmmm that's strange..
I wonder what kind of sauce it is???

and then it happened
something I had never seen before in my life...
something that McBaffled me...
something that should not have occurred...


the McEployee reaches under the counter


wait for it....

wait for it....


in his hand a
pair of small white McSocks

What just happened?
What did I just witness?
Where am I?

Did this person just cut in front of me
and order a pair of socks at McDonald's?

What the hell is going on here???
What else is for sale under that counter??????
Why aren't they on the menu?

She just ordered a pair of fucking McSocks at McDonald's...









Is it me? Am I out of the loop?

american way

So why are the kids of today
lazy, sluggish and super sized?

Cuz schools give 'em
Bags of Cheetos covered with melted cheese
for lunch.

It's the lunch of champions.

it's true...
it aint easy being cheesy

rainbow

there was a rainbow over my desk yesterday
I thought to myself..

WOW
This must be good luck!
Maybe things are looking up!
Maybe I'm on a lucky streak!
Maybe this is a good sign!

but no..
I had a shitty day

and today is sucking even more than yesterday

fuck you rainbow...

pour oil on him

(piece of shit)

if anyone needs Tony Hayward..
he's on his 52-foot yacht

yachting around...

while oil continues to pour into the gulf

crazy ass

Creepy?

... oh no no

it's not..
it perfectly normal...
to pose with your dying loved one then sell the photo
to a tabloid.

she loved him very very much!!
so don't be hatin'

okay.. she's a crazy ass bitch..
Philip Drummond would not be pleased

the rainbow

last week I bought a little bag of skittles
they were 40¢
I hadn't had skittle in years...

I ate half the bag
then the next day I ate the other half

the following week
I purchased the big bag

I still have the bag..
I eat a few here and a few there

but what I really want to do
is down the entire bag in one sitting
but that would be like 10-12 million calories
and that would be wrong...

all I want to do is taste that fucking rainbow
cuz it's awesome
it's candy CRACK

here's what you do
you get
1 yellow
1 orange
1 purple
1 green
1 red

eat them all at the same time..
that's the "rainbow" they speak of..
it's epic

sugar nirvana

damn you skittles..
damn you to hell


wait..I love you skittles - I didnt mean it

blanche died

stay gold...

1934 – 2010

all I have to say is

I'm tired

mouse rat

so true...

Thanks...!!!

Just wanted to say thanks again
to everyone who helped me raise money for
the Providence Animal Rescue League

When I started fund-raising
I was hoping to get $200

Thanks to your generosity I was able to raise
over $830!!!

Your donation will help the
Providence... Animal Rescue League continue
their hard work saving animals.
Take a look at your donation dollars at work...
• $20 provides vaccinations for one animal
• $30 provides one medical exam
• $150 feeds PARL cats for one week
• $175 feeds PARL dogs for one week
• $200 provides one spay/neuter surgery

Your contributions meant a lot to me
and it really helped a great cause.

I cant thank you enough
I'm lucky to know you guys!!!


Thank You:
Lee C.
Beth C.
Deb & Dave A.
Jim L.
Kathy C.
Ann L.
Julie K.
Irene P.
Jo-Ann J.
Diana F.
Ann & Lu
Dan H.
Ken K.
Defusco's
Teri "the great"
Andy "epic donation" Pantaloons
Amy M.
Chris H.
Josh K.
Dave M.
Mel H.
Mr. Grant Miller, Esq.
Chris "Soul Brotha" H.
Rebecca B.
Bev B.
Tim & Mary O.
Deb M.
Omer L.
Bill H.
Cheryl H.
James C.
Jonathan "jonjon" P.
Pat & Jack L.
Lance A.
Danny Y.
Jeff P.
Dave G.
David D.
Stacey S.
Raycene & Mark C.

You guys ROCK!!!!!

clip of the day - "George" Re-Cut

go here if you're a Seinfeld fan...

clip of the day

clip of the day

Sign the petition

The petition reads:

"I am appalled that Discovery Communications -- home of numerous eco-conscious offerings -- has picked up "Sarah Palin's Alaska." Sarah Palin's anti-nature crusade as governor makes her extremely unsuitable to host a show in your lineup. I urge you to cancel the show before it airs."

Sign it

I love me some chatroulette

Things You Learn On Chat Roulette

chatroulette.com

1. No matter what country a person is in
if you wave a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
in front of the Web Cam you can make anyone smile
it's true...

2. You can infuriate someone in an instant
simply by making the "It's Tiny" gesture with your hands.

3. There's far too many freaks in this world.


the end

random find

real life Meg...

flood

They closed parts of I-95
It took me a 1 HOUR to get to work

stupid rain...

close up

Riley..
A.K.A "the peanut"

chuck

I was just sitting here
wondering,
what ever happened to
Chuck Woolery?

I miss that show LOVE CONNECTION
that was good stuff

wake boat

Do you dig our new ride?

They told me what BOAT really stands for..
"Bust Out Another Thousand"

Hope it aint true.
Just sayin'

disappointment

Can we talk serious...

ok,
it's about something I hold dear to my heart

yeah.. it's about
the office



Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on here??

Do I dare say it...
has it... *shudder** has it....
jumped the shark??

The past two episodes??
SERIOUSLY?!?!?!

To be honest with you, I could give a flying fuck
whether or not Pam's baby is "latching on"
frankly it disgusts me...

It's called the OFFICE not PAM & JIM HAD A BABY

That hour long episode sickened me..
what the fuck happened??
Did someone secretly replace the writers of the office with
the writers from Full House and Growing Pains?????

Jesus Christ!!!

And then last week... Jim's all like "Boooo Hooooo Hooooo
I wish I was home with my Baby oh Boo Hoooo"

HEY JIM
BUCK UP AND BE A MAN!!!

Jim is getting LAME
Pam is Getting ANNOYING
And I'm getting PISSED OFF

I watch the office to see Creed growing mung beans in his desk drawer

I watch the office to see Phyllis fighting with Angela...

I watch the office to see Toby Flenderson in awkward situations...


I don't want to hear about diapers, sippy cups or breast feeding..
If I want to hear about this shit - I'll turn on the Lifetime channel

Dear writers
Get your shit together... For FUCKS SAKE!!!!!!!!

How did it come to this?

Tonights episode better be good OR so help meeeeeeeeeeee


Thanks
Jen@Casual Slack

Villalobos

"Esmeralda Villalobos"

no reason...
I just like the name

"So what does it feel like to kill a man with your bare hands?
It's a topic I'm very interested in."
-Esmeralda Villalobos

smart

Is there anything better than a SMART DOG?
NOPE!
yummy goodness

just sayin'

Lucas died

Dear Corey,
I just know there will be ample
supplies of crystal meth waiting for you in heaven ...

P.S.
don't forget to bring your crack pipe


enjoy...


Jen@ Casual Slack

*full story

groundhog day

same shit
everyday
same thing
over and over and over

work...come home
work...come home
work...come home
work...come home
work...come home
uneventful weekend
work...come home
work...come home
work...come home
work...come home
work...come home
uneventful weekend

same shit
everyday
same thing
over and over and over

I'm so sick of it

How did it come to this?

best pizza ever

envy my white pizza
Little Country Pizza, Exeter, RI

clip of the day

right here

my own Marine Park

After seeing the movie Jaws 3 in 1983
I immediately decided that I wanted to someday own
my own Marine Park..

I built a small scale model of my plans
using cardboard and magic markers..

as you can see - it never panned out for me
due to a lack of financial funding

Valentine

This is what Riley
thinks about Valentine's Day...

Velvet Jogging Suit

So...
I'm at the post office over the weekend
I'm in line..

Girl in front of me..
early 30's
velvet jogging suit.. maroon with black racing stripes
huge designer sunglasses covering most of her face...
hair pulled back in ponytail
orange jersey shore tan
fake nails with tiger stripe design

she reeked of money..

in her hands - A package
a Christmas present to be precise

All wrapped up - picture perfect - in red and green xmas wrap,
cute reindeer
and a big shiny red bow








"next"
the postal worker proclaims..

Velvet jogging suit prances up to the counter and places the large
beautifully wrapped package on the counter..

the look on postal workers face ***PRICELESS**

everyone in line got real quiet...
looking forward to this transaction..

Postal Worker: just stares - disgusted look on her face..
Velvet Jogging Suit: stares back... empty... stupid
Postal Worker: Can I help you?
Velvet Jogging Suit: I need to ship this.
Postal Worker: umm, you need to package it.
Velvet Jogging Suit: Huh?
Postal Worker: You need to package it… in a box.
Velvet Jogging Suit: But I need to ship it.
Postal Worker: You need to package it…
you can't just ship a Christmas present..
There are priority boxes in the back of the store.
Velvet Jogging Suit: Wanders to the back of the store
Fusses with some boxes then yells across the room..
ummmm how am I suppose to seal it??

Postal Worker: **sigh**
there is tape over there too
but you have to BUY IT

Velvet Jogging Suit: Oh..
*with a look on her face like she is the victim*


Oh poor, poor Velvet Jogging Suit..
How dare that mean postal worker tell you what to do..




How is this possible??
How can someone be this stupid?
She probably never worked a day in her life
YET she's sportin' around town in a Mercedes and her jogging suit probably cost more
than I make in a month...

What did I do wrong in life?

heroes

So...Saturday

I'm at Tim Horton's
Drinking coffee with my husband..

We look out the window and see a firetruck com tear assin'
up the street.. sirens blarin' horns honkin

I make a remark..
"Must be out of chili and headed to the supermarket"

we laugh

we drink our coffee

we leave

as I walk to the car
I look up the street and there I see the firetruck parked
at the Bakery
and two fireman - all dressed up with their fire coats
and fire helmets

come struttin' out with 4 boxes of pastry
they get back in the firetruck

Lights On - and Away they go...

my tax dollars hard at work

Hurray for the heroes!
yay!

unfuckingbelievable

nothing

You'll get nothing, and like it

loathe

I've said it before..
and I'll say it again

I CAN'T FUCKING STAND JOHN MAYER









Here are the actual lyrics to an awful song
I'm forced to listen to every day on the radio:

Just when I had you off my head
Your voice comes thrashing wildly through my quiet bed
You say you wanna try again
But I've tried everything but giving in
Why you wanna break my heart again
Why am I gonna let you try
When all we ever do is say goodbye
All we ever do is say goodbye
All we ever do is say goodbye
All we ever do is say goodbye
I bought a ticket on a plane
And by the time it landed, you were gone again
I love you more than songs can say
But I can't keep running after yesterday
So why you wanna break my heart again
Why am I gonna let you try
When all we ever do is say goodbye
All we ever do is say goodbye
All we ever do is say goodbye
All we ever do is say goodbye
We say goodbye
We say goodbye
We say goodbye
All we ever do is say goodbye
All we ever do is say goodbye
All we ever do is say goodbye
All we ever do is say goodbye


HE SAYS THE SAME SHIT
OVER AND OVER AND OVER

and people love it!!!

WHY????????? WHY????????????
WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT THIS??? WHAT???????

*sigh*