A letter to the fireman who lives in my neighborhood.
I don't know your name - nor do I care
Enough already, we get it.. you're a firefighter.. we all get it.
The kids have mini firetrucks they drive around the yard
and always have on fireman uniforms or hats - ALWAYS.
Dad only wears Fireman T-shirts
Just in case anyone wasn't sure if he's a fireman or not...
There are numerous firefighter stickers all over the back of your SUV.
You had a fire truck mailbox for a while (I think someone smashed it)
You have firetruck posters in the garage.
To tell you the truth - frankly I am shocked you don't own a Dalmatian yet.
Maybe you're allergic?
I can just imagine what the inside of the house looks like
You probably have a fucking pole to slide down.
One day we were burning some leaves in my yard and you immediately hopped in your
truck and drove by our house 3 times really slow - probably praying it would get out of
hand so you could rush in and save the day.
It's a common occurrence to have Firetrucks ripping up the street with the sirens
blaring and pull into your driveway for the kids to play on.
(which I might add - MY tax dollars are paying for )
Yesterday, I was coming home and I passed your wife walking with the two kids...
Both kids were dressed up - Hat, Overalls, Boots, even an axe... the entire ensemble
YES... WE ALL KNOW THAT YOUR HUSBAND
IS A FIREMAN - WE GET IT
ENOUGH WITH THE FIREMAN THEME - YOU'RE MAKING ME SICK
You don't see dentists kids walking around with white jackets pushing floss..
You don't see plumbers kids walking around with tool belts showing the
crack of their ass...
You don't see me wearing "I'm a graphic designer T-shirts"
So what's the deal???
I have a news flash for you pally: Guess what- you're not ALL heroes
Sure, many firefighters are heroes... 9/11 those guys who went up the stairs when
everyone else was running down - THAT my friend, is a HERO
But that doesn't MAKE YOU A HERO
You're just a firefighter in a country town - Last time I checked -this town didn't have any
high rise buildings.. or huge abandoned mills.. or out of control brush fires
You just sit around on your ass all day... watch TV and eat chili and THEN go on strike
because you feel you're just not making enough Money.
So dear Mr. firefighter up the street. Nobody gives a shit that you are a firefighter
Please.. for the love of christ - Give it a fucking rest
Thanks
Jen
Casual Slack
22 comments:
I received as similar letter, but it was "We get you like Casual Slack". I guess I need to stop wearing Casual Slack tshirts everyday.
But they're just so damn comfortable!!! :)
Jim,
no no no
THOSE SHIRTS
are totally acceptable!!
never stop wearing them
since you live in a hick town I think he's bored and needs something to do.
can you make sure the leaf burning gets "out of hand" this year?
Then there's the dude in L.A. that impersonated a firefighter or emergency personel for years and finally got busted recently! Or the guys down town here in D.C. that had them damn hookers up in there....or were they all up in them there hookers? Be carful you might need them any day....careful
The fireman..that is
Buy a case of Bick lighters and mail him one anonymously every single day. Muh ha ha...
You don't see plumbers kids walking around with tool belts showing the crack of their ass..."
Actually, I think I have seen these plumbers kids. Sometimes their boxers stick out too.
My dad was a porn star. You should have seen our neighborhood and my childhood...
I should give my kids their own blog.
I have a fireman on my street too but so far he has not been too obnoxious
That's too funny.
Maybe the guy just has a mental problem and needs all that stuff to remind him what his job is?
So....I guess this means I have to stop wearing my Jerk shirts.
Jen...please don't be bitter...you too can become a firefighter if you'd like
I'll pass
I think it is a Freudian thing. He believes in the bumper sticker that says, “Firefighters have BIGGER HOSES.” So he has to brag. I wonder if he smokes BIG cigars, too?
He's probably compensating for a small hose. Kinda like I figure anyone who jacks up his truck and paints racing stripes on it is compensating for the same thing.
The capper would be if the SUV was red too.
Dear Jen,
I hereby pledge my love to you for this post. You're the real HERO.
Love,
Dale, not a fireman
Thank you. I always hate how guys that do upper-eschelon blue-collar consider themselves "professionals."
This man sounds completely obnoxious. Reminded me of Christmas morning 2004 when my parents' house caught on fire and my mother says, "Should we call the fire department?"
We ended up putting the fire out before they arrived--some very disappointed fire dudes.
Please read The Onion's editorial "Fire Truck! Fire Truck! Fire Truck!" by A Four Year Old
RIGHT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are my hero
for posting this
What does he wear to the bedroom?
Oooo La La
I think he takes that calendar nonsense too seriously.
I'M A MAN!
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