So like I said...
I was really sick over the weekend
I could not keep food down
it was like a puke-a-
thonanyway
I ask my sweet, loving husband to make a run to the
supermarket for me
For 3 things- Ginger Ale
- Gatorade
- Popsicles
I was very specific
(as usual)I said what brand of Ginger Ale
I said what flavor Gatorade
and most important -
the Popsicles"Listen to me carefully"
"I want the basic orange-grape-cherry Popsicles
and none of that twin pop bullshit
just the single Popsicle -- one stick"
He nods..
I wait anxiously.
Dehydrated and in great need of an ice cold, frozen miracle
so finally - he arrives homeI ask him to "Bring me a grape one... hurry
I am
dying"
He hands it to me
it
doenst look normal
rather pale in color...
I say "Are
sure this is a basic grape Popsicle"
He acts all annoyed
"YES!"
I taste itIt tastes like grape juice
real grape juice.. weak, watery, grape juice
Not KOOL AID fake GRAPE JUICE
like Popsicles are supposed to taste like!!!You KNOW what I'm talking about..I said
"No way is this a Normal Popsicle"he runs to the freezer
and yells back "POPSICLE BRAND
I told you! You just like to complain about things"
Something was off...But in my weakened condition I could not get off the couch to
investigate the matter further
I had to live with it..
for nowI sat disappointed..
Later that night I endured 2 more watery
orangey flavored ones...
I thought to myself they must have changed the formula - But WHY!?
So a couple of days later - I have regained my strength...
I decide to see for myself
I open the freezer door
and there before me is this
Do you see it?**NATURAL COLORS & FLAVORS**
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?!??!Now - I'm all for healthy food..BUT RIGHT NOW
I'm Dying...
This could be my last day on earth
I long for the chemical goodness of red #5 and high-fructose corn syrup
and he buys me
"All Natural Popsicles"Why didn't he buy me some brown rice
and hummus while he was at it?!
So I tell him LOOK!
This is what you bought??
You Bought the Wrong Ones!!
You Bought the Wrong Ones!!
and his reply..brace yourself...
"THAT'S ALL THEY HAD"you mean to tell me
out of the entire supermarket
they had only one type of Popsicles for sale?
In my 35 years on this planet
I have seen many a frozen food sections
and there's usually an ample variety of frozen novelties
Not just one lone box of healthy fucking ice sticks
Men pay no attention to detail..
I would not have made this mistake... not on my watch.the end