Tuesday, January 22, 2008

flashback

flashback
circa 1978


I'm at some kind of appliance store with my mother & father
they were looking at washers & dryers I think..

They narrowed it down to two choices
they were across from each other so they kept walking back and forth
back and forth, back and forth,
back and forth

I would walk with them - I was little- so I mostly just focused on their legs
the salesman had on the same color plants as my father..

in the meantime
I'm standing there with one of those 'snack size' boxes of junior mints














and
on the back of the box there was a cartoon picture of Fonzie
doing the thumps up Ayyyyyyye


so, obviously I was mesmerized
by this - as most human beings
would be..

I kept striking the Ayyyyyye pose
not as cool as Fonzie
- but I looked damn good




anyway
I remember I wanted to leave like any 5-6 year old would..
so I grabbed what I thought was my fathers leg
telling him I wanted to go home
and when I looked up - it was the stupid ass
salesman not my father

WHAT THE HELL!?!

I was hoodwinked
Hey.. they had the same color pants!
they went back and forth so many god damn times I got confused
and with the Fonzie distraction it was an honest mistake...

yet I was mortified

I was hugging some strange mans leg..
He looked as terrified as I was


I cried

I hated this man-
I hated his entire family
how dare he wear the same color pants

we soon left

My mom told me it would be okay.. I didn't believe her

But I still had Fonzie to console me

the end





*this has been another fascinating post from casual slack
you're welcome

12 comments:

Annie said...

I love it. Those flashback could make you rich some day!

Dick Small said...

That post made me cry. I'm not ashamed to admit it.

coffeypot said...

The question is, do you still grab strange men's legs?

Jen said...

... sometimes

Micgar said...

all I can say is heyyyyyy!!

Nobody™ said...

It seems you lived a tragic childhood.

Superwoman said...

Hee Hee I've had kids walk up to me and hug my leg then look up at me with a horrified expression. Usually their real mom and I laugh but the kids are usually horrified.

Anonymous said...

I love your flashbacks!

Once, when i was at the video store, I went up to who I thought was my husband and smacked his ass and told him to get a move on....

you know where this story is going...

it was one of the workers, with the same pants on...
yes, I was mortified, and did I mention I was in my 20's???

Jen said...

Anonymous -
I laughed out loud
when I read that..
BWhahahahahah!!!

Fonzie Sox said...

Oh my God as a personal Fonzie Fan this made me crack up so hard... I'm having a really rough day already thank God for your flashbacks...

SkylersDad said...

I walked up to a lady bent over a table looking at clothes one day and grabbed her butt. I thought it was my wife, that was just a bit awkward...

Special K said...

I admit I cried and peed a little