Friday, September 22, 2006

guest post


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I asked nobody to do a guest post


I visit his blog everyday
to read about nothing...


And for the record -
"Bacon Wrapped Hot Dogs"
have no business being at a "Chinese Buffet"

Spring Rolls.. YES
Fried Wontons... YES
General Tsao's Chicken...YES
Bacon Wrapped Hot Dogs... umm No

And now ladies & gentlemen
a guest post from the infamous Nobody

Enjoy...

There's Nothing crazy about the Midwest

Jen has kindly asked me to do a guest post on The Slack.
How could I say no? She proposed that I write about the
"crazy Midwest". Ok, whatever you say, Jen.

So I googled for crazy Midwest stuff. I found pretty much
nothing worth mentioning (except the Twins, and their not crazy,
right Dr Mom?). I thought for sure I'd find some sort of oddity
about the Midwest. But I really didn't.

Jen seems to think we are crazy here because you can get bacon
wrapped hot dogs at a Chinese buffet. Hey, there is NOTHING
crazy about bacon wrapped anything. If it's got bacon wrapped
around it, I'll eat it!

The weather here can certainly be crazy. It gets hotter than
hell in the summer time, with humidity in the 80-90% range at
times. We get lots of thunderstorms and even some tornado's.
And in the winter? It's cold. Really cold. With lots of snow and ice.
Okay, we must be crazy to live here.

One of the more interesting Midwest things is this whole soft drink
thing. Is it a soda, or is it pop? In Des Moines or Sioux Falls it's pop.
In Milwaukee it's a soda. But then again, those cheeseheads in
Milwaukee call a drinking fountain a "bubbler". WTF is up with that?
That is crazy. Maybe Jen is on to something.

Then there was the goofy old fart that rode his lawn mower from
western Iowa to Wisconsin to visit his brother. I'm not sure if
that guy was crazy or just stupid.

Having never been outside of the Midwest I'm not really sure if
this is a crazy place or not. How would I know? I've never been
anywhere else. For 33 years I've never left the Midwest.
That will have to change soon.

So, since I really have nothing, I'll just have to take Jen's word
that the Midwest is crazy.

And, as an extra special bonus to go along with this post, I will
finally reveal the top secret location of East Undershirt
over on my blog!

18 comments:

Jen said...

Actually...
we call it a "bubbler" here too
HAHAhahahA!

Nobody said...

mmmmmm, bacon...

Nobody said...

WTF is a bubbler? That's freakin' nuts! It's a freakin' drinking fountain.

Jen said...

My husband
thinks EVERYTHING should
be wrapped in bacon..

He would love that
chinese buffet

No meat for me
eeuuu...

Jen said...

Hahah
It "bubbles up" maybe?

I dunno...

I'm from a state that doesn't pronounce the "R" in anything
so actually here it's a "Bubbla"

Zed said...

Bravo, nobody! Bravo! Well done!

mmm... Bacon-wrapped hot dogs!!
What's the problem? My Chinese buffet has pizza, mashed potatoes, and enchiladas.

You didn't mention anything about sheds. Is there a reason for that? :)

Jen said...

then your Chinese Buffet
is crazy also..

pffftt

Teri said...

wow, you guys have chinese buffets?

Tim said...

My wife forgot my favorite- sausage wrapped in bacon dipped in butter!!

Dick Small said...

I think that was an excellent post. It seemed to have something in it for just about everybody. Good job.

Dick Small said...

... and for the record my faves are the boneless spare ribs, teriyaki chicken wings (or skewered), egg rolls, pork fried rice, chicken chow mein, fortune cookies, and beer.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Hey, you wrap bacon around Nobody's schlong and I'll eat it.

I LOVE bacon.

Man-love BLogmad hit!

Nobody said...

Gee, I was thinking the same thing about Fab's schlong.

Doctor Mom said...

Nice to see you at the Slack, Nobody!

Why would anyone conceivably and intentionally serve bacon wrapped hotdogs at a chinese buffet?

Dick Small said...

Our chinese restaurant doesn't serve bacon-wrapped hot dogs, but it DOES serve pigs-in-a-blanket. And pizza. In a chinese restaurant. Hmmm,,,,,

Keith said...

And for the record -
"Bacon Wrapped Hot Dogs"
have no business being at a "Chinese Buffet"


Agreed.. I saw them lot's of times in L.A. and thought they were a Mexican Food... I may be wrong as I am alot of times... hehe

DutchBitch said...

I can't see anything crazy in anything you stated really... OK, the lawnmower guy is a bit "strange" maybe... Did he pass by your lawn?

Over to your blog now! I reaaaaaallly want to know about the secret location of East Undershirt!!!!

Happy Bacon Eating!

Serra said...

The item I don't understand appearing on a Chinese buffet is those little biscuits that come in a tube. They deep fry them, roll 'em in sugar and shove 'em out on the steam table.

Sure, they're YUMMAY as hell, but what's Chinese about those?