Wednesday, June 07, 2006

God, That SUCKED!! Volume 2

I fell down at Target
It was last year or the year before
I can't remember.

Anyway, it was at Christmas time
I was frantically shopping with my husband
I had to pick up one of those "Light Up Reindeer" for outside
It was for my mother and it was in a huge box
Getting the Reindeer was a mission in itself
there weren't any on the shelf so I had to ask one of the
expert staff for assistance - yeah, you know how that goes.
It was some scrawny little man with a bad comb over
and a pocket protector. He stood scratching his head
"I think we got one of them in the back..."
Okay, I'll wait... I waited what felt like an eternity
He came back... "nope none in the back,
but I think there's one left on the very top shelf
it says we have one in stock
on the computer
and the computer don't lie, but I'll need to go get the ladder."


I continue to wait.
He comes back with the ladder and some 16 year to climb it
He goes up - And brings down, you guessed it!!

They both stand there and look at the box
reading the side of it
While I am saying - "It's not it"
"It's not the right one" - "That's not it..."

The Guy looks at me and says:
"I don't think this is the right one, I think it's the other one up there"

Finally I have the Reindeer

So I'm trying to carry this huge ass box and I was pulling
a shopping cart behind me with my other hand and My husband was also
carrying stuff. There are people EVERYWHERE
it was a week before Christmas.
We are in this HUGE RUSH - I can't remember why
But I had to get out of there. I was in this panic
Especially after it took Barney Fife 25 minutes to get the fucking reindeer

We go up to the registers - it was Express 10 items or Less.
It had just opened so I say to my husband hurry let's go to that one
the line isn't that long yet. We scramble over.
I can't really see because this huge box is in my face
Apparently someone thought it would be a good idea to abandon
their little red shopping basket in the middle of the floor

I trip over the basket - the reindeer goes flying, I'm down, Im horrified.
The cashier just keeps chewing her gum and scanning items,
doesn't say a word and the lady in front of me
looked down with this disgusted look on her face and muttered
"Oh my, are you okay?"

Yeah, lady like you give a shit. "Yep, fine"

Oh My God, I just fell on the Floor at Target

My husband pulls me up by the arm and says
"What the hell are you doing?
(Like I threw myself on the floor on purpose)
Are You Okay?"

I fell on me knee & it hurt like hell, but I got up and got on with it.
My husband wanted to sue them for leaving baskets on the floor.

But all I could picture was the lawyers and the insurance people
playing the security camera footage over and over again
laughing their asses off.

We're NOT suing.

I wanted to SMASH the reindeer in the parking lot but I didn't.

When I brought in to my mothers
she said oh thank you, did you have any trouble getting it?


God, That Sucked


Your Girl Friday said...


Could have been worse.
You could have fallen over in Chanel in front of Matthew McConaughey.

Gosh, falling over is so embarassing. Why do we only seem to do it in public places!

Anonymous said...

I could spend all day at Target! I love that place!

Moderator said...

You know they have those motorized "Lil Rascal" scooters at the front of the store for people like you. Perhaps you could ask to use it next time?

Anonymous said...

Ha Ha!! Neeners to you, Jen!