Wednesday, October 31, 2007
the contest
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku
A letter to..
And now an open letter to all those people
over the age of 12
who SCREAM at haunted houses / hayrides / etc.
Hi there,
I wanted to take moment to talk to you folks
about the "screaming" that goes on at Halloween Recreational Facility's
I have visited few haunted houses in my younger days.. they were fun when I was 7
I don't go to them now because I have better things to do
and frankly I can't bare to even be around you people
Last night I saw a TV show all about extreme haunted houses
an it annoyed me in such a tremendous way
it led me to do this post...
FYI
See that kid...
the 16 year old with the mask and the fake blood he got at Walmart
well... he's not REALLY going to kill you
I know, I know...
It seems SO real with that plastic machete an all
but trust me - you're not gonna die
he's a paid actor - I'm serious...
I know you can never be 100% sure that there isn't a real
axe murderer in the mix - but the odds are slim
You don't have to be THAT scared
maybe a little but startled... hell, you can even be a bit apprehensive, anxious or
frightened.. but all the ear piercing, blood curdling screaming.. yeah that's gotta stop
Your over dramatics sicken me...
So please - I'm gonna need you to take it down a notch on the decibels meter
You're annoying the shit out of me and I'm not even there
thanks,
Jen
@ casual slack
Monday, October 29, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
check it out!
Friday, October 26, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
looks good, tastes bad
I've said it once
and I'll say it again
Candy Corn Sucks
MmmMMMmmm WAX
*2fools sent me this -
CANDY CORN SONG
and I'll say it again
Candy Corn Sucks
MmmMMMmmm WAX
*2fools sent me this -
CANDY CORN SONG
movie flashback
I remember back in the day..
this movie was on HBO at least 10 times a day..
I always felt bad when the little ferret
jumped on that guy and the guy fell off the cliff...
remember that???
(the ferrets were the best part of this movie)
Actually it's been so long since I've seen it
that's the only part I do remember
that...
and Marc Singer running around half naked battling evil
with a tiger that was spray painted black
your typical
low-budget sword-and-sorcery '80s flick
this movie was on HBO at least 10 times a day..
I always felt bad when the little ferret
jumped on that guy and the guy fell off the cliff...
remember that???
(the ferrets were the best part of this movie)
Actually it's been so long since I've seen it
that's the only part I do remember
that...
and Marc Singer running around half naked battling evil
with a tiger that was spray painted black
your typical
low-budget sword-and-sorcery '80s flick
on tonight
- THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF ADVERTISING -
When the Scranton branch is asked to participate in a Dunder Mifflin ad,
Michael seizes his chance to exhibit his creativity.
Meanwhile, Dwight explores the online world of Second Life.
the office
When the Scranton branch is asked to participate in a Dunder Mifflin ad,
Michael seizes his chance to exhibit his creativity.
Meanwhile, Dwight explores the online world of Second Life.
the office
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
an email
an email
Today I emailed my friend Angela this:
"Stop working and talk to me.."
And this is the reply I got:
Okay. :) Once upon a time there was a fat girl, with fat arms. They called her
"Fat Arms Ang" Her arms were so fat that they did not fit in a regular sized
shirt, so all of her shirts had to be modified to fit her gigantic arms. At night,
her children slept upon her flabby gilatnous arms as though they were pillows.
Her husband used them to jack up the car on weekend repair jobs. One day, a
giant mosquito came and feasted upon just one of the fat arms and deflated it
like a balloon, and for the rest of her days she was no longer called Fat Arms
Ang... she was called: Fat ARM ang because just one of the arms remained
grotesquely yooj.
The end.
Today I emailed my friend Angela this:
"Stop working and talk to me.."
And this is the reply I got:
Okay. :) Once upon a time there was a fat girl, with fat arms. They called her
"Fat Arms Ang" Her arms were so fat that they did not fit in a regular sized
shirt, so all of her shirts had to be modified to fit her gigantic arms. At night,
her children slept upon her flabby gilatnous arms as though they were pillows.
Her husband used them to jack up the car on weekend repair jobs. One day, a
giant mosquito came and feasted upon just one of the fat arms and deflated it
like a balloon, and for the rest of her days she was no longer called Fat Arms
Ang... she was called: Fat ARM ang because just one of the arms remained
grotesquely yooj.
The end.
Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Thursday
As Jan renovates the condo, Michael confronts his growing debt
every way he can, which includes pressuring
his employees for a loan. Pam and Jim spend a night out on
Dwight's family farm, now a bed and breakfast.
Watch the Office Tonight..
every way he can, which includes pressuring
his employees for a loan. Pam and Jim spend a night out on
Dwight's family farm, now a bed and breakfast.
Watch the Office Tonight..
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku
Monday, October 15, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
take that! TEXAS
How's your team doin'??
Oh wait... not as good as my team
I can tell ya that!
wooo hooooooo
final score
48 to 27
patriots.com
Oh wait... not as good as my team
I can tell ya that!
wooo hooooooo
final score
48 to 27
patriots.com
Friday, October 12, 2007
random nonsense
My friend emailed me this
and I thought I'd share...
Cursing at Work
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended,
this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately
express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been
provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue
in an effective manner.
Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.
Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.
Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!
Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.
Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?
Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.
Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.
Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?
Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources
and I thought I'd share...
Cursing at Work
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended,
this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately
express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been
provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue
in an effective manner.
Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.
Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.
Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!
Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.
Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?
Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.
Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.
Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?
Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Hollywood Squares
I had this vision...
for the greatest cast ever assembled
for Hollywood Squares
Am I Wrong?
nope
You know you'd watch it - admit it
for the greatest cast ever assembled
for Hollywood Squares
Am I Wrong?
nope
You know you'd watch it - admit it
Thursday
It's Thursday kids!!
The Office is on tonight
LAUNCH PARTY THE WORLDWIDE WEB -
The Dunder Mifflin Infinity website
is launching and Michael is excited about going to the big launch party in
New York while Angela plans a satellite party for the Scranton branch. Meanwhile,
Dwight competes against the website to see who can sell the most paper in one day.
The Office is on tonight
LAUNCH PARTY THE WORLDWIDE WEB -
The Dunder Mifflin Infinity website
is launching and Michael is excited about going to the big launch party in
New York while Angela plans a satellite party for the Scranton branch. Meanwhile,
Dwight competes against the website to see who can sell the most paper in one day.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
inspirational quotes
Well kids..
Back to work after a three day weekend!
I'm so happy to be back to work
In honor of being back
Here are some inspirational quotes:
"When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices.
When you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
-Tibetan Buddhist
"As Soon As You're Born You Start Dying"
-Someone said this - not sure who
"Our life is made by the death of others."
-Leonardo da Vinci
"Death is nature's way of saying, Your table's ready."
-Robin Williams
"Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else."
-James Matthew Barrie
"Work is a necessary evil to be avoided."
-Mark Twain
I hope these brightened your day!
Back to work after a three day weekend!
I'm so happy to be back to work
In honor of being back
Here are some inspirational quotes:
"When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices.
When you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
-Tibetan Buddhist
"As Soon As You're Born You Start Dying"
-Someone said this - not sure who
"Our life is made by the death of others."
-Leonardo da Vinci
"Death is nature's way of saying, Your table's ready."
-Robin Williams
"Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else."
-James Matthew Barrie
"Work is a necessary evil to be avoided."
-Mark Twain
I hope these brightened your day!
Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku
Friday, October 05, 2007
A letter to...
Dear old woman
behind me in line at dunkin donuts this morning..
The girl at the counter said next please..
I heard her
I was going...
You didn't have to start frantically tapping
me on the shoulder and pointing
I was going!!
What the hell do you think I am??
the flash??
Well I'm not..
My sincerest apologies for not sprinting out of line as if
it were the start of the Boston marathon...
I know you want that french cruller
But that 100th of a second extra
you had to wait
isn't gonna make or break you
You need to settle down
thanks
Jen
@ casual slack
behind me in line at dunkin donuts this morning..
The girl at the counter said next please..
I heard her
I was going...
You didn't have to start frantically tapping
me on the shoulder and pointing
I was going!!
What the hell do you think I am??
the flash??
Well I'm not..
My sincerest apologies for not sprinting out of line as if
it were the start of the Boston marathon...
I know you want that french cruller
But that 100th of a second extra
you had to wait
isn't gonna make or break you
You need to settle down
thanks
Jen
@ casual slack
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