Wednesday, August 23, 2006

morning coffee

I don't know what it is about morning coffee
but these people are constantly giving me material for posts

I don't make this shit up
the following is a conversation I had this morning
with the Tim Horton's Cashier

I go up to the counter

Counter Girl: Hi
Me: Hi can I get a medium hazelnut iced coffee,
milk 2 sugars, light
Counter Girl: Sure, Cream?
Me: NO..Milk, Light
Counter Girl: I'm making chocolate cream pie today
Me: (Blank stare followed by pause...I'm thinking is she talking to me?
Why is she telling me this? What does pie have to do with anything?) What's That?

Counter Girl: I'm making chocolate cream pie today
Me: pause... wow.. that's cool
Counter Girl: yeah, I'm really excited
Me: uhuh
Counter Girl: It's my first time making chocolate cream pie
I've always wanted to, but I never have.
Me: uhuh
Counter Girl: It's going to be super yum - I CAN'T WAIT!

These are the thoughts going through my head:
Why the hell is she telling me this? Does she think I said something about pie?
Is she even talking to me? Super Yum??? - Is she kidding??
What is the point of this conversation? How do I reply to this?
Maybe she's "mentally challenged" she looks normal.. she can't be normal
and why isn't she getting my coffee???
I'm totally baffled...

Me: So does this mean you've been promoted or something?
Counter Girl: no
Counter Girl: I love chocolate cream pie but Tom won't eat any,
he's a dumb dumb

I'm thinking...Who the fuck is Tom?

Counter Girl: turns around and smiles at this tall dopey looking kid
I'm guessing this is Tom

Tom just stands there with an annoyed look on his face

Counter Girl: gives me my coffee - (about fucking time)
Have a nice day and wish me pie making luck
Me: uhuh.. good luck with that


previous morning coffee posts


Nobody said...

I like pie. I do not like coffee

Annie said...

Maybe it's you. Maybe you were thinking about chocolate cream pie and she is telepathic or something.
Or maybeeeeee, she just as stupid as you said she is. Yeah that's it.

Teri said...

I agree with the rest of the people, especially Nobody since I hate coffee.

I think you should start spreading your coolness around that place, they obviously need lots of it...

kim said...

Hold on...I thought Tim was making your morning coffee? Why are you back at Tim Horton's?

Jen said...

Oh he still is...
I just wanted to get a bagel this morning and I felt like drinking
Tim Hortons coffee today.

Change of pace..

I like to mix things up a bit!

Anonymous said...

What a shame she's stuck at that dead-end coffee job. She seems like she has so much more potential than that...

Ellie said...

she drank too much cofee and Tom was wishing it was 'warm apple pie'

Ellie said...

Just read the other posts...ha ha ha
I pulled in the Sbux drive through and asked for a Mocha Frappachino light on the Mocha..then I asked for whipcream and a little choco syrup on top. She said okay your total is blah blah.. and uh oh by the way..fraps come with whip and syrup so next time you can save your breath.

I was like aaa say wuh??? I almost cried.

Anonymous said...

I bet there is crack in the chocolate cream pie.

I want some.

Grant Miller said...

Do you want cream with that?

Dale said...

You should have let your inside thoughts come outside just for a minute.

Lynda said...

Maybe they have too much caffeine.

JSV said...

These are my favorite Slack posts! This is sitcom material could be raking in millions as a writer for Seinfeld (if it was still on).

More Slack posts on retail with the mental blurps, i.e., "Why is she telling me this? What does pie have to do with anything?"


Lorraine said...

I love coffee, I live for coffee, i get up in the morning for coffee.
One day after ordering my huge large, 1 cream, the lady told me, 'I found a used condom on the door'
mmmm, yeah, that's crappy, can I have my coffee now! gulp!

Scarlet said...

lol, oh great. You joined in on the stoopid conversation that was going on in her head. Well done!!

Twyla said...

Ahahahaha. Too funny.

Miss Alex said...

Ha Ha seriously... what fuck are these people on? Is this a real place? It really almost sounds like you're making it up it's so insane.