Thursday, August 10, 2006

Guest Post


I asked a
friend of mine
to do a guest post

and she did!




So here it is...

Supervisor's Choice:
by Angela

I would like to take this opportunity to express my thoughts on the new
generation of health-conscious parents and teachers. I am the parent of a
healthy 7 year old. The school sent out a letter suggesting that parents
not send sweet snacks such as Suzie-Q's, Hostess Cup Cakes, and Twinkies in
their child's lunch. They were kind enough to enclose a list of suggested
snacks which consisted of yogurt, cereal bars, and fruit snacks.

I say shut the fuck up. How's that? Nothing we eat is good for us anymore.
Did you know the FDA allows a certain percentage of "rodent filth" in our
food? The average is 1 or more rodent hairs and excrement per 100 grams; or
what about this gross little morsel of information: Yoplait uses crushed
beetles to make the lovely pink strawberry color in your yogurt. Oh yeah,
sure it's "good for you". Don't you people think it's a little weird that
556,902 die of cancer every year? There were less deaths by cancer in the
generation that smoked Lucky Strikes and ate butter, sugar and lard. So,
yeah, I don't think it's the sugar that's gonna kill my kid. So, how 'bout
you bitches mind your own business.

What happened to the days when the school didn't interfere with what you
thought was best for your children (unless you thought what was best was a
good ass whoopin')? Where were you health-conscious douchebags when I was
in elementary school? Our parents and teachers sat idly by while we ate the
flat tortilla shell boiled in lard and sprinkled with deep fried hamburger
and some cheese. It was like a natzi day camp. Two days out of the month
you got "Supervisor's Choice", the rest of the month you got the can of the
day... Can-a-loni, canned fruit, canned pudding, and a piece of bread
wrapped in wax paper. I didn't die. So chill out chumps, and stick your
beetle juice and rat poop salad right up your buns of steel.

Thanks.

8 comments:

Scarlet said...

Well said!!!

In Australia, the drama of what is in a meat pie is of concern.

"Meat can mean snouts, ears, tongue roots, tendons and blood vessels. And it can come from other animals you may not expect to be eating such as buffalo, camel, deer, goat, hare and rabbit," says Mr Crothers.

Only offal (such as brain, heart, kidney, liver, tongue, tripe) must be specified on the label.

http://www.abc.net.au/westernplains/stories/s1635272.htm

So USA allows poop, Australia allows the pooper. I aint so hungry anymore....

Dale said...

That is one rockin' guest post. I second that emotion and hope you sent a copy in your child's lunch box for them to find.

Zed said...

Excellent post by Angela, Jen!

Schools really need to mind their own business in this area, mostly because they are clueless about the topic.

Anonymous said...

blah blah blah

Annie said...

You tell em Angie!!! What is this world coming to, when a kid can't eat Suzie-Q's anymore?

2 fools said...

HAHAHA - That was so funny, "USA allows poop, Australia allows the pooper".

Hey, Scarlet, Dale, Zed, Annie thanks for the support! I'm glad you found it worth reading.

For what its worth, I only allow him to have one of those snacks at the end of the school week as a special treat. But I would like to choose when and what I give him without hearing from the school? YA KNOW?

Jen, I'm dying to post about my lunch switching debacle. HAHA

j!! said...

Lovin' the guest post. :D

Lorraine said...

I concur TOTALLY...
crushed beattle juice, think of it!