clip

This dog wants his bed back
from the cat, whatever it takes.

watch it here

old

Cloris Leachman
is 81 Today..

"Let me fix you some sandwiches..."
- Grandma / Bad Santa

sucks

Hi Kids
It's Monday again. Monday Sucks.
How was your weekend?

disgusting

Food
I Do Not Want

nasty selection here

the Office

The Office
Is on Tonight

And it Looks Good, Kids!





episode: PRODUCT RECALL
UNPRINTABLE? AN OFFICE IN CRISIS - The office is in crisis mode after
a large shipment of Dunder Mifflin paper is accidentally sent out with an
obscene watermark - and Michael tries to manage the media with an
impromptu press conference. Jim and Andy also attempt to calm the high school
principal who has sent out prom invites on the affected stationery.

a letter to cracker jack

Dear Cracker Jack People..
I recently purchased a bag
of Cracker Jacks.
There were only five peanuts in the bag

five fucking peanuts



This is an outrage...

It says right on the bag..
"Caramel Coated Popcorn AND PEANUTS"
It should read: Caramel Coated Corn and Maybe A Few Peanuts

Are you telling me the FritoLay Corporation
can't afford to put more than five peanuts in??

I blame the person wearing the plastic hair net and goggles
who's job it is to watch the cracker jacks on the conveyor belt
for quality control (Who probably makes way more money than me)
They KNOW there isn't enough peanuts to popcorn ratio
Yet they do nothing.

I also blame "The Man"
Yet another way of screwing the public!

Oh.. and BTW
Like Chris mentioned a while back
YOUR PRIZES SUCK

I mean,
Why even bother? Your prizes insult me.

Good day to you.

tagged folks

the you asked for it tag participants
Jerk Of All Trades
Teri the Great
Mr. Nobody™

They answered their five questions
with style... kinda.

I'm wicked tired

"I finally found a way to sleep in my office.
Under the desk. I lie on my back.
I tuck in the chair. I'm invisible"
- George Costanza



I'm so tired...
I wish Conrad (Conrad, Connie, or Con, whatever you prefer. )
would build me a bed for under my desk that would so kick ass.

Tuesday Work Sucks Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

HATE - is a strong word
How do I feel about work?
I HATE, HATE, HATE IT.

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

Jim Schrute

Jim Playing
Dwight Schrute

watch it

sad

It's monday.

just a link

Stage Names Vs. Real Names

Barry Manilow: real name: Barry Alan Pinkus (way better!)
Bob Dylan: real name: Robert Allen Zimmerman
Albert Brooks: real name: Albert Lawrence Einstein
Jennifer Aniston: real name: Jennifer Linn Anastassakis

They're all listed here

you asked tag

the you asked for it tag
- Tanya Espanya asked:

How did you meet your husband?
I met him mountain biking at a park not far from my house
... I had recognized him from the gym -
He just starting talking to me. I road around with him for a while..
then we sat and talked more, then I let him give me a ride home
- I lived about 7-8 minutes away
I thought his truck was really clean - I was impressed

My parents thought something had happened to me because
I left on my bike...I was gone for a long time... then a strange truck
was in their driveway, So my father was staring through the window
- needless to say I was horrified

He walked me to the door
but I didn't want him to come in because my home life was rather
...volatile. We exchanged phone numbers...
then when I went in the house I was greeted by:
"WHO THE HELL WAS THAT?"
"YOU JUST TAKE RIDES FROM PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW?"
"WHAT IS HE? IRISH?? HE LOOKS IRISH"

**sigh**


What are your upcoming travel plans?
I have none.. I wish I had some
God I suck...


How did Travis come to live with you?
We went to the animal shelter.. just to look. We already had Jerry
and weren't that impressed.

Travis was in the first cage, all by himself
The cutest kitten I have ever seen.. he meowed and came over to see me.
His ears were bigger than his body.
I scratched his head and told him how cute he was.

Tim wanted me to look at all the kittens - But I knew which one
I wanted. I started to walk away, just to take a look around
and he flipped out! He starting meowing, running around and
shredding the newspaper in his cage then he stuck both paws through
the cage and cried, desperately trying to get my attention.
Totally over the top...
Tim looked back and said "I dunno about that one...
he looks kinda CRAZY how about one of these nice quiet ones over here"

I ran back over to his cage...
I told little Travis not to worry, he'd be coming home with me

Here are some Travis Kitten Pics
you're welcome























Are you happy/content with how your life has turned
out so far and if not, what would you change?
Amazingly...I am very happy with how my life has turned out.
(when I was younger I always envisioned it turning out unpleasant)
The only thing I would change is my "career"
also know as "the biggest mistake of my life."

What bad habit would you like to quit and what good habit
would you like to take up? (I guess that is two questions)
procrastination - I can't quit it.. maybe I'll try.. later
healthy eating - The fact that I hate most food, doesn't help me out



----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OFFICIAL TAG RULES:

Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me!”

I will respond by e-mailing you five questions (if your email is not on your profile, email me your desire to be interviewed so I know your address).

I get to pick them, and you have to answer them all.

You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

thanks

I still feel like shit.
Slowly recovering from this
flu/cold/motaba virus/sars/madcow bout
But I have to send out some thanks








Kleenex- I 'd like to thank Kleenex for always being
there for me - even though right now, there is a red, raw, peeling skin,
bleeding patch under my nose from blowing it so much
it looks really good..
- but it's not your fault Kleenex.. you rock









Alka Seltzer Cold Plus - night time formula
Thank you for putting me into a sleep coma..
Even though I did drool on myself a little bit
and I did have some twisted/deranged dreams... You knocked me out
& put me out of my misery for at least 7 hours - thank you












GatorAde- To the last bottle of lemonade gatorade that was in
the back of the fridge. You were refreshing, cold and re-hydrating
and I thank you for that. You will not be forgotten.

My Husband- You brought me tea, You brought me my medicine
(it's not like you had a choice) but I love you regardless

My Bed - So comfortable.. you're the greatest

the arrival

I should have posted this already
But I have been rather sickly and not thinking clearly

2fools

4-12-07
2:14 p.m. - emergency
c-section

she said she "hurts everywhere"

I'll bet!

Welcome Mia

fast food is bad

Fast Food:
Ads vs. Reality
go here

clip

this is funny...
will ferrell
& the landlord
watch it here

still sick

Thank You
For All The Sympathy Comments

I'm still sick...
But not as close to death
as I was yesterday

I think I might live.

sick

I'M SICK.
Sympathy Comments
are Welcome.

He's old

the Great
David Letterman
is 60 today

trailer

Oceans 13 trailer
is here

onion news

National Zoo's
giant panda Yun Mei
has set off a storm
of protest.

watch here

dork bloggers

hey kids... there's a CONTEST over at Dork Bloggers
"Write a post on your blog,
or provide a link to your dorkiest moment"

Check it out Here

The winner of the popular vote will get a
$20 Amazon.com gift card
And possibly some cheesy Dorkbloggers swag.

love filled comments

I received a sweet, kind, thoughtful, endearing
comment over on my other blog and it made me smile
so thought I'd share it with you

here

for those of you not familiar with my other site
which I am a contributor on
along with my good pal 2fools - it's
feefeasibleprophecies.blogspot.com

BTW
- Angela has not been contributing to feasible or slack lately
due to the fact that her computer is broken
and that she's about to give birth at any moment

She might already have given birth - I'm not sure
she never answers her damn cell phone!

So we probably won't be hearing from good ol' 2fools for a while

2fools - you are missed

Tuesday Work Sucks Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

a depressing thought...
been here 10 years of my life
what a waste of time!!!

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

xenu

A List of
Celebrity Scientologists
is here

...Bart Simpson is
one of them...yikes!

Cadbury Eggs

The Cadbury Egg
Conspiracy..

watch it

woke up this morning

Last Night Was The Season
Premiere of The Sopranos

I can't wait till next week!

I would never want to be employed by Janice... just sayin'

happy

300 plus

300
with cats

watch the trailer

That's Old...

Lando Calrissian
is 70 Today
I thought you should know

dick-nuts

Dick Small
has a new product coming out...

Andy developed the packaging
for this exciting new product!
Soon to be on shelves...

13

Thursday Thirteen

I don't go to concerts anymore
I was never a big fan.. It's just not for me..
between the traffic, the cost of the tickets,
Then all the people feel compelled to stand up
blocking my view - I'm 5' 1" ...sit the fuck down!!!

THEN you have to listen to the jerkoffs
standing next to you singing at the top of their lungs...
I don't want to hear YOU sing

But when I was younger..
I attended a concert once in a while..
so here are 13 random concerts
I attended long ago
So don't judge me
I was young and peer pressured
into some of these...

1. Aerosmith with the Black crows - Saw them twice, both times - good
2. KISS - the non make-up years - I went with my brother,
he's a BIG Kiss fan
3. Pat Benetar - I was 15 - I posted about this recently
4. The Eagles - I did a post about this nightmare a while back
5. Crosby, Stills & Nash - It sucked, they played stuff I never heard of..
I wanted to hear the old stuff
6. Alanis Morissette - isn't ironic? don't you think?
7. R.E.M - I was a huge R.E.M. fan in my younger days...
"it's the end of the world as we know it!!!" anyway I was so wasted
I don't remember any of this concert, I remember being in the parking
lot, that's about it.
8. Metallica - 1997 best concert I ever went to.. I had amazing seats
AND I got to meet Jason Newsted (bassist)
9. Bryan Adams - I can't explain why
10. Bon Jovi - I was in 8th grade.. enough said.
11. Weezer - They played at a small club in Providence, I was feeling a bit
claustrophobic so I left half way through... and sat in the lobby to wait for
my friends - instead I sat and watched all the Brown University students
hanging out, trying to act hip and trendy - that was entertaining
12. Def Leppard - all the cool kids were going - so I went too
13. Sheryl Crow - I drank a lot - I remember a little.

and that's my 13
as always - I tag you all

Leslie Hall

Ring My Bell
Leslie Hall
- Episode 2

is right here

hilarious...!




in case you missed
episode 1 it's here

New Office Tonight

Hey Kids,
New Episode of
the Office Tonight!
it'a about damn time...




Epsidode: THE NEGOTIATION
SALARY NEGOTIATIONS DRIVE MICHAEL TO
THINK ABOUT HIS OWN PAY - Darryl decides to meet with Michael
to negotiate a pay increase. Meanwhile, Jim deals with the consequences
of Pam's confession to Roy

FYI

I was just sitting here wondering
why they call grape nuts... grape nuts
so I looked it up

here's why...

(according to wikipedia)

Neither grapes nor nuts have ever been ingredients in the cereal.
The original formula for Grape-Nuts called for grape sugar, which is composed
mostly of glucose unlike most other sugar sources and food sweeteners which are
principally sucrose. This, combined with the "nutty" flavor of the cereal inspired its name.
But some employees at Post claim that the cereal got its name because the tiny
nuggets resemble grape seeds or grape "nuts".

the end

*This has been another fascinating post by Casual Slack

clips

15 “HOLY SHIT!”
Movie Moments:

go here

clip

What We
Call the News
go here

slack recommendation

Has anyone else been
watching this new show
Starring Eddie Izzard?

The Riches
I dig it.

how-to

How to make a
Handcrafted Cat Bed

1. Buy a new pillow
2. Take the old pillow off your bed
3. Throw it on the floor

you're welcome

clip

Skunk Prank
watch it here






*I saw this over at say no to crack
it's a funny site - check it out

I don't like - it

I got yelled at today

by that skank-ass saleswoman
(I've mentioned her in the past - "it")
Of course I yelled back
Of course I was right
Yet the anger is still festering

So I felt compelled
to photoshop you guys this visual
here she is..

This is basically what she looks like
Yeah.. I know.. She's wicked pretty...

Aren't you envious - you wish you could work with this, don't you?

postcard

Lynda sent me a postcard
from Memphis..
Did she send YOU a postcard from Memphis?
No? - Well I got a postcard....Just sayin'

Tuesday Work Sucks Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

dread the alarm clock
chained to my desk like a slave
I want my freedom

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

just some travis

the paw stretch

clip

Funny Clip
from Family Guy
space coaster..

go here