clip

Weezer - Pork & Beans Video
starring some familiar
internet faces...
watch it here

product review

Peanut Butter Bumpers

I love this stuff

go to Whole Foods right now
and buy some

And it won't kill you..
look at the ingredients..

clip

THIS is what WORK
does to a person...
(*It's no doubt fake -
but I wish it was real!)
Office Worker
Goes Insane - go here

it's just lunch

today was a Tommy's Pizza
kinda day

random find

Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

boss is playing golf
a/c broken - we all sweat
boss man could care less

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

a conversation

So.. this morning
I'm standing in line getting my coffee
and I overheard two guys talking:

Guy1 : Hey.. how's Paulie doin'?

Guy2: Paulie.. he's doing better, he's in rehab
but he's very, very anxious to get back to work

Guy1: yeah, yeah.. good..good..good
anxious to get back to work that's good

Guy2: yeah, he's gotta get back to work


Okay.. let's stop the
conversation right there

Who the fuck in their right mind is ANXIOUS
to get BACK TO WORK??
especially when you're at rehab
I'm picturing a guy sitting around in his pj's enjoying iced tea
out in the garden - occasionally going to a group meeting
to talk about his "feelings"

Yeah I bet he's really anxious to get back to work.

Unless this guy works at the Wonka Chocolate Factory
I honestly doubt he's anxiously awaiting his return
to working for the man

and if he is anxious to get back to work
--- then he's an asshole..


just sayin'


*this has been a casual slack observation
thank you

movie review

Ya know what sucks?

This movie SUCKS
I saw it along time ago and I thought it sucked
then I watched some of it again yesterday..
and yep... it's still fucking sucks

This is one of those movies
people think is a "cinematic science fiction masterpiece"
just because Stanley Kubrick did it
Big fucking deal..
Stanley Kubrick can kiss my ass

it's excruciatingly slow... drawn out scenes that go on forever...
basically - it's an overrated piece of crap

it actually infuriates me to think that
this is considered
one of the greatest science fiction movies ever made!!

and if you dare to say you didn't like it
you're told that you "Just don't get it or you "Missed the point"
or "You can't appreciate the art of the film"

Art? - I have seen more Art in a Calvin & Hobbes comic...

Well I didn't miss anything - I get it - I'm not a moron
- I also get that it fucking sucked

I'd like to buy a copy of this movie
just so I can smash it into a million pieces with a sledge hammer
then pour gasoline all over it and light it on fire
because that would be more enjoyable to me - than watching it again

the end

this has been a casual slack movie review

ps.
The greatest sci-fi movies ever?

ALIEN
&
ALIENS

go ahead argue this with me
bring it on!!!

I double dog dare you

Mel Blanc Rocked!

Everyday I check out the birthdays
on IMDB.com

Today Mel Blanc
would have been 100 years old

- so I dedicate this post to him -

(1908-1989)

Who's Mel Blanc??
You're kidding me.. right?

For christ's sake! The man is an icon!

The voice behind the great Bugs Bunny!
and virtually every major character in the Warner Bros.
cartoon pantheon, including Porky Pig, Daffy Duck,
Tweety & Sylvester, Yosemite Sam,
Foghorn Leghorn, Pepe Le Pew
and Hanna-Barbera's - Barney Rubble, Mr. Spacely,
not to mention hundreds of others.

How He Created the Warner Bros.Cartoon Voices
-- video clicky here

Mel on Letterman -- video clicky here

Just Some Mel Blanc Facts:
According to his son Noel Blanc, of all the cartoon characters he voiced,
the one that was the closest to his actual voice was "Sylvester the Cat",
only without the lisp.

Nickname - The Man of a Thousand Voices

Blanc said his most challenging job was voicing Yosemite Sam;
it was rough on the throat because of Sam’s sheer volume

Blanc legally changed his last name from Blank to Blanc because of
a nasty school teacher who used to make fun of it.

Shortly before his death, executives of Time-Warner (owners of Warner Bros.)
asked him if there was anything, literally anything, that they could give him to
thank him for his life's body of work. He asked for, and received, a Ford Edsel.

In high school, he used to laugh down the hall and hear the echo coming,
"you know. . . . So that's the Woody Woodpecker laugh," he once told an interviewer.

One of Blanc's favored charities was the Shrine Hospital Children's Burn Center
where the family asks contributions in his name.

While in a coma after a cataclysmic automobile accident, doctors
unsuccessfully tried to get Mel to talk. Finally, a doctor, who was also a fan
of his cartoon characters, asked Mel, "Bugs? Bugs Bunny? Are you there?".
Mel responded, in Bugs Bunny's voice, "What's up, Doc?"
After talking with several other "characters",
the doctors eventually led Mel out of his coma.

Epitaph on headstone at his burial site in
Hollywood Forever Cemetery in Hollywood reads,
"That's All Folks"




I remember cutting this pic out of a magazine when
I was a kid and hanging on my wall


Thanks Mel - You Rocked

Sufferin' Succotash..

addiction

I have a new addiction

It really does give you wings

just sayin'

The first time I tried it - I thought it tasted awful
The second time I tried it - it's not that bad
Third time
I want MORE!!! MORE!!!

new rules

I got this in my email
this morning

You've probably heard them before
but they're still funny - every time
you read them!





GEORGE CARLIN'S NEW RULES FOR 2008

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for
weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from
rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it
for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a
reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly
like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is
doing these days --- mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless
you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was
found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did
you expect it to contain? Lobster?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot,
blonde teachers are permanently damaged . I have a better description
for these kids: 'Lucky bastards.'

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone.. Here's how much men
care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Good, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole
aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but, without that watery taste.
Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water?
Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the
asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half-soy,
half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry,
light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and One NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a
huge asshole .

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card,
entering My PIN number, pressing 'Enter,' verifying the amount, deciding,
no, I don't want Cash back, and pressing 'Enter' again, the kid who is
supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Mars Bar.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't
make you Spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates
to 'beef with broccoli.' The last time you did anything spiritual, you were
praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy
old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a
remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember
the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the
idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: And this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants.
After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex
with George Michael. I can't even tell If he's supposed to be there, or just
some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, Dude.
I just want to wash my hands

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear
'27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese.
And I didn't really care in the first place.

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job
that pays better than Minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce
or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future
around saying, 'Do you want fries with that?'



*thanks Rebecca

3-D classic

Overman was killed inside the park...

The baby was caught inside the park...

It's mother
is inside the park.

link

20 ways to
waste money

go here

Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

depression... sadness...
long weekend - is now over
can it get much worse?

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

rivers of blood

the great pantaloon
made me this
slacktastic movie poster!

Don't forget to read the credits at the bottom!

Celebrity Douche Bags

"Top 10 Celebrity Douche Bags"

this list is RIGHT ON!

go here

oh.. and be sure to watch
this hills parody

random find

This Squirrel is PISSED
and he's not gonna take anymore of your shit...

product review

And now it's time for a

Slack Product Review

Dentyne Blast - Chocomint

It's really good.
I know what you're thinking..
Chocolate Gum - That can't be good
but you're wrong..

*This has been a Casual Slack Product Review

it's just lunch again

Spinach Pie from D. Palmieri's Bakery

Johnston, RI
I highly recommend this joint...

Their "pizza strips" also rock!

If you ever find yourself in this shitty state
you should stop in

just sayin'

Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

so, this is my life...?
it's all such a waste of time
rather kill myself

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

it's just lunch

my friend Ann
brought me this salad for lunch
she equipped it with sunflower seeds,
croutons.. the whole nine yards!

envy me

*thanks friend

the office

Season Finale of the Office
-rocked-

snuffy

PSA - Snuffy the talking fire engine

I think Snuffy starts the fires
I don't trust him...

pie crust

Flashback
circa 1993

I've mentioned in recent posts
I was employed by a supermarket in my youth..

Most of the time was spent goofing off
if you can imagine that

I was never where I was supposed to be..
often wandering about.. here and there

One day I decide to help my buddy
Derek in the deli department..
He says to me..
"Here, clean this knife for me"

the knife was very similar to
the knife Indiana Jones wielded...


so Im cleaning this knife
washed it in the sink
it's spotless!!

now it's time to dry

I'm busy jabbering away
about what.. I don't remember




Distracted...
my middle finger on my right hand
ACCIDENTALLY brushes over the blade just as I'm pulling
it through some paper towels to dry it off

at the top of my lungs I proclaim
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all the customers in line
turned their heads at the same time - trying to
get a glimpse of the blood shed

Derek says..
"Ohhh what did you do"

I reply
"Nothing..."

as blood spurts everywhere
down my sleeve, puddling onto the floor

I say
"I gotta go.."

I cup my hand.. I apply pressure to the wound..
there's a pool of blood
running over my hand like niagara falls

I leave the deli area
an old woman approaches me
she looks down at my hand
then she looks up at me
and says in a loud irritated voice

"Where's the ready made pie crust?"

I look at her in disbelief
I'm bleeding over here!

I motion to the dairy case with my head
"it's over there"

I start to walk away

"Well I looked there I couldn't find it!!"

*Sigh*

I walk her over to the 'Pie crust area'
leaving a trail of blood behind me...

she takes a box
she leaves









no "thanks for helping me find pie crust while
you lose blood..." nothing!!!

The moral of the story?
People don't care if you're bleeding
they want their fucking pie crust
and they want it now



the end



*this has been another fascinating post from casual slack

random find

revelation

revelation:
I have never had a
pomegranate

Am I missing out
on something great?

I'm not impressed with
the visual aspect

clip of the day

hot guy
on the dance floor..
go here

clip

O’Reilly
Screaming Rampage
go here

Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

I gotta bad cold
Sick co-worker used MY phone
vengeance will be swift

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

fun facts

Fascinating fun facts
- go here

Hey, I have tested 9 volt batteries
on my tongue - I survived!

stupid people

There was this girl in high school
she would mix "creme de menthe" & "sprite"
and put it in a hairspray bottle

Then she would spray it into her mouth
while she was in the bathroom

what a fucking idiot

I'm guessing she's working for NASA now...
or maybe she's a cashier at a gas station
not sure...

random find

"Gumfighting do's and don'ts..."

Hubba Bubba Blueberry
Gum Was My Fave

*retro-tavern.blogspot.com*

all that glitters is gold?

101 Versions of
Stairway to Heaven

go here

clip

Mother's Day
by mittymoo

go here

random fact

I found these in a box in my basement..

When I was 14 years old
I got me a job at "Almacs"
(Stayed until I was 21 or 22 and I had lots of fun)

they are long since gone...

FACT:

I Was Never Happy to Help Anyone

This is probably why they went out of business
It's all my fault

new blog alert

Another blog...
until I get bored with it

Retro: of or designating the style of an earlier time
Tavern: a public house for travelers

retro-tavern.blogspot.com

link me and shall I'll link u back
- just leave a comment so I know -

thank you
& goodnight

Tuesday WORK SUCKS Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

Hey! You're not my boss!
You can't tell me what to do
SCRAM! you're a jack ass...

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

link

Refacing

Government Tender
clicky here

stinker

So...
Yesterday
I'm driving in the Walmart parking lot
and then I see it..

A 1984 chevy caprice..
with two senior citizens
cruising around at 10 mph
and there in the back window
a homemade sign

securely fastened
with about 10,000 pieces of scotch tape

"DON'T BE A STINKER
USE YOUR BLINKER"

I scramble for my camera...
I raise - I aim - I focus
Then my battery died..

"FUCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!"

So you'll just have to take my word for it


the end

Favor!

Do Me A Favor Kids

Vote for my Pal Angela (A.K.A 2Fools)
Her Daughter Mia
is in this contest
"Baby Idol"
on a local radio station
go here

Brimley

5 Cats
that look like
Wilford Brimley
go here

stanley

Did I Stutter?

a conversation

A conversation that took place
between a co-worker and myself
this morning...


Co - Worker - "I just hit a Guatemalan"

Me - "With your car or your fist?"

Co - Worker - "My car"

Me - "Did it leave a mark?"

Co - Worker - "No"

Me - "Well.. that's good"

Co - Worker - "Yeah" *then she walks off*

Me - "Okay then, bye"



the end

Reggie Bar

I dunno about you..
But I could go for a Reggie Bar