Monday, March 27, 2006

the spiders are back

a·rach·no·pho·bi·a : An abnormal fear of spiders.
Now, I wouldn't call it ABNORMAL.

Spiders are spawned in hell.
I have an agreement with the spiders.
You stay away from me, and I let you live.
I know, I know.. they are good ...
They kill bugs that are bad.
But the agreement still stands. Don’t come near me.

Well, Spring is here... and with that comes spiders.

A tarantula sized spider was waiting for me on the dryer door last night.
I was minding my own business doing laundry, and there it was... invading my personal space.

I’m almost paralyzed with fear of this nasty creature.
I look around frantically for a the same time not taking my eyes off the invader, because once you take your eyes off it- It escapes. The nearest thing in reach - a roll of paper towels It will have to do

I take aim - I smash
He drops... HE RUNS??!!


Under the dryer he flees. Now he’s wounded and no doubt looking for revenge. What if he makes his way to the clean laundry basket and takes up residence in one of my socks?

I have to finish this job.

I’m on my hands and knees trying to look under the dryer. I see him.. He sees me. He’s pissed.

I grab flat metal sign that was in the basement I slide it under and proceed to smash with all my strength.

He escapes AGAIN now he’s heading straight towards me.
- I must destroy him

I grab the paper towels and with every last bit of energy left in my body I lunged the roll downward.


Did I feel bad? A little. But we had an agreement.


Joe said...

I got bit by a Black Widow last my sleep! I got up and took a shower, looked at my ugly butt before I entered the shower and saw a HUGE purple swell on my cheek. I thought to myself, "Oh...I guess I DO feel something in that region." I have seen BW's in my house from time 2 time and concluded it had to be a BW bite. The other spiders in my house are tame...sometimes I catch 'em and feed them to my fish.

Jim said...

I commend you for your heroic bravery and courage under fire!!! Look around in the laundry room for any hell hole or rip in our dimension. Somehow, that demon escaped the firey pits of Hell.