Tuesday, February 20, 2007


My mother lied to me - volume 1

circa 1981

On this particular occasion, I was sick...
I had a bad cough and did not want any cough syrup
because I hated the way it tasted
My mother was always pushing the fucking cough syrup...
- as usual, I refused.

And then she tried to scam me, It went something like this:

mom: You want some soda?
me: YEAH! (Who doesn't want soda when they're a kid?)
mom: okay, go watch tv and Ill bring it in to you
(I should have known something was up when she offered to bring it to me...)

She brings it in... I take a BIG mouth full of pepsi
**GAG** followed by **DRAMATIC PAUSE**
(shocked look on my face)
'this tastes very similar to cough syrup, I thought to myself'

Could it be?? Could my mother have done this to me???

I run to the kitchen - full speed

her reply: no. there is nothing in it - go drink it!
mind you, the bottle of medicine was still sitting on the counter next to the pepsi
(not the first time - nor the last)
Yet ANOTHER example of my parents thinking I was an absolute fucking idiot

She put vile, disgusting, cough syrup in my pepsi.
Ruining a perfectly fine beverage.

What the hell kind of warped universe was my mother living in
that she didn't think I was going to notice?

She still cannot be trusted.

But I'm not bitter..
Okay, maybe just a little bitter.

Did your parents scam you?


Anonymous said...

Sure I've been scammed by my parents. I've also scammed them and it's amazing what I got away with. Give and take, that's what family's all about.

Anonymous said...

how dare she ruin a perfectly fine pepsi, that's just wrong

Bob said...

I have to agree with Dick Small

Jen said...

No WAY!!!

I am with monkey
ruining a perfectly
fine beverage
then lying about it..
is a crime

The Boob Lady said...

Nobody fucks with Pepsi.


Anonymous said...

what did u want your mom to do? u wouldnt take the medicine because your a picky eater. thats what moms do...i guess u dont have kids do u.

Anonymous said...

I'm a janitor at an elementary school so here goes;
Shut up you sticking miscreant weasel brat....You're an asshole that never should have been born you need to do everything your parents tell you to do, eat everything they tell you to.
Shut it! Don't do anything or touch anything or anybody!
The bus ain't takin you home today it's takin ya back to the dumpster behind the shopping center where your parents got you from in the first place! You never should have been born and you're sure ta kill somethin or somebody before you're done! I got a picture of you for a billboard advertising abortion! It's gonna work!

Teri said...

I have to agree with Dick as well but she should be shot for messing with the Pepsi.

my mother never tried to get over on me, maybe it's because I was a naive, trusting person who did what I was told, most of the time anyway.

Annie said...

Poor Jen. Watch out cause Tim might try it too. It just ain't right.

Lynda said...

The question is, did you finish the Pepsi?

Jen said...

Hell no!

Jen said...


I was old
enough to know my pepsi
tasted like shit
and that I was lied to..

I didn't drink it anyway!!
so what was the point?

If I did have kids I would give them more credit and not
tamper with their beverages


Anonymous said...

Admit it, Jen, your parents were good to you. Go on, admit it.

Anonymous said...

You know, everyone, I happen to believe that "anonymous", who commented JUST above "breonala", is actually Jen's Mom. I have to admit, all her "what did u want"s and her "i guess u dont have kids do u" lingo really threw me for a curve. She almost had me fooled for sure.