It's Friday

Happy Friday, Kids!

Clip

Otters Holding Hands
How can you not love otters?

watch it here

13

Thursday Thirteen
13 random things
I Hate About My Job

ready.. set... go.

1. The Copy/Fax Machine- I cringe anytime I see someone
go near it.. because I know, any second there will be a question...
"Why is this doing that" "How do I do this?" "Paper Jam?
Paper Jam.. what do I do" - I'm not a fucking copy machine repairman
- FIGURE IT OUT! We're not curing cancer here people
How hard can it be??
2. Location - Shitty part of the city, no good places to get lunch,
and forget sitting outside unless you want to inhale bus fumes and
have nasty men driving shit boxes that need mufflers beep their
horns at you.
Also there's a rather HIGH chance of being attacked by Rats
3. Commute - 30 long minutes.. I used to have a five minute commute
4. Bothering me- I don't even have my jacket off and they start
asking questions.. it's similar to a pack of hyenas swarming in on a
wounded gazelle. I'm not even in my god damn chair yet! BACK OFF!
5. Screen Touchers - I have a flat panel monitor.. And I don't like
when people touch it.. Can't you point at something without touching it??
Is it that difficult? I don't want your nasty finger prints on my screen
- THIS INFURIATES ME
6. Telemarketers - They call my work all day long - fuck off!
7. Thievery- I know you took my stapler
8. Abandonment -People just abandon their shit on my desk
gum wrappers, papers, business cards.. whatever 
9. "It" - "It" refers to the nasty sales woman who works here that smells
I did a guest post at nobody's about this person
10. Smell - there's a disgusting restaurant next door and I swear they
are cooking rotted squirrels and rats.. the smell is nauseating in
the summer if we have the windows open.
11. Paycheck - Graphic design lacks financial reward..
I consider going to college for graphic design the BIGGEST MISTAKE
OF MY LIFE and just like uncle Rico, I wish I could go back in time..
"Uncle Rico: Kip, I reckon... you know a lot about... cyberspace?
You ever come across anything... like time travel?"
12. Email - If a salesman is expecting an email -
I tell them "I will call you when I get it" Yet they all feel compelled to
call me every 30 minutes to ask if I got the email yet
"did you get the email yet??" - no... "did you get the email yet??" - no....
"did you get the email yet??" - no...."did you get the email yet??" - no....
"did you get the email yet??" - NO
13. Phone - Don't use my phone.. you have a phone upstairs.. go use your
phone, you mouth breathing, sweaty handed, germ filled monster.



as usual - I "13 Tag" you all*this has been yet another fascinating post from casualslack

diving face

A gallery of all the funny expressions that
people make while they're diving.
right here

link of the day

*The Archive of
Misheard Lyrics

Clip

Top Gun On Ice
watch it here

Evolution of Homer

The Simpsons:
The Evolution
of Homer
watch it here

Tuesday Work Sucks Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

so many questions...
I LOATHE the sound of your voice
get out of my sight

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

re-enacted by bunnies

Spiderman I & II
re-enacted by bunnies

watch it here

flashback

Flashback

November
1980
A Tragic Day In History

It was my 7th birthday,
I had a party with all my friends from school.
I don't remember who was there or what I got
but I do remember
receiving this...

The Mork from Ork Action figure
with Eggship

Needless to say.. I was thrilled

I proudly displayed it in my room.
The next day.. I went to school,
I'm sure I must have bragged about my new showpiece
who wouldn't?

I come home from school,
go upstairs to my room..

GONE?
only the egg ship remained

But Where? But Why?

I take a closer look at the eggship and notice
..... bite marks??
NOOOOOOOOOooooo

It was all clear to me now.

I ran frantically through the house
looking in every corner
Praying I would find him in one piece

But I knew in my heart - it was gonna be BAD

Finally I go down to the basement...
and there he was, lying face down on the concrete
all that was missing was the white outline around the body
and the yellow crime scene tape

He was completely chewed
his feet - gone
face & body all bite marks
unrecognizable

Why would Daisy, our pitbull do this to me??
WHY???

It was a tragic day.
A day that will live in infamy.

My parents didn't even buy me a replacement
WTF?

Just Some Travis Slack

Chad Vader Episode 7

Chad Vader
Episode 7
watch it here

stuff I never got

Stuff I Always Wanted

But My Parents Wouldn't Buy Me
Volume 3

Crazy Foam
Aerosol-powered Soap - what's cooler than that?

I remember seeing the commercials
and then asking my mother repeatedly..

But did I get any?

nope

Lynda

Lynda made me this slacktastic poster
I bet she didn't make you a poster...

thanks Lynda!

Visit Lynda..
http://lkscherf.blogspot.com - Lynda's Great Journey
http://lauriannes-hope.blogspot.com - Laurianne's Hope

A conversation

A conversation between me &
my friend/coworker Jo-Ann
March 22, 2007

Jo-Ann: I bet you don't know who this is on the radio..
Me: I do to..
Jo-Ann: who is it?
Me: Pat Benatar..
Jo-Ann: Very good.
Me: Yep.. I actually saw her in concert when I was 15..
me and my friend knew this disc jockey and he gave us
free tickets. I think it was in '89
Jo-Ann: I WAS AT THAT CONCERT TOO!!
Me: Really??
Jo-Ann: Yeah.. a midget threw up on me
Me: What?
Jo-Ann: I had sandals on and it was all in between my toes
I smelled like puke the entire night!
Me: **just staring with disgusted look on my face**
A midget, huh?
Jo-Ann: Yeah, you know .. a dwarf.. one of those little people..
Me: Did the dwarf apologize?
Jo-Ann: No he just looked at me and walked away..
he was wicked bombed
Me: That sucks...
Jo-Ann: Yeah it was gross. So what do you want for lunch?

He's Old

He's 76 Today
Captain James T. Kirk a.k.a. William Shatner

Kirk and Spock in Love Clip

tron guy

Tron Guy is
Still Single Ladies,
And he thinks he would
make a good boyfriend...

watch his clip

it was free

Dunkin Donuts
was giving away one
FREE small
iced coffee
Today...


And you would've thought they were giving away
Free Diamonds & Gold.
There was a line out the fucking door!!!
For Christ's sake people... RELAX
It's only a dollars worth of coffee - it's not that EXCITING

Cheap Bastards.

Did I get a Free coffee too?
Well, yeah...
BUT I bought my usual Medium
I said I didn't want the small
but she gave it to me anyway..

Anybody want it?
It's still in the fridge

tagged

Mr. Nobody™ Tagged me

List seven songs you are into right now...no matter what they are.
BUT. They must be songs you are presently enjoying.
Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

well,
I just burned a cd
and these are 7 of the songs on it...

1. Defy You - the Offspring
2. Come Undone - Duran Duran
3. Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
4. Epiphany - Staind
5. Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
6. Lying from You - Linkin Park
7. It's Been A While - Staind

nothing new..
what can I say -
I'm not a hip & trendy music aficionado

tag 7 people..
I tag you all

Tuesday Work Sucks Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

the copy machine...
not that hard to figure out
you're just a moron

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

Sci-Fi Car

Vote for your
favorite car...
Sci-fi car of the future
Here

clip of the day

MARBLES
HARSGROVE:
E.COLI

watch it here



*I saw this over at Jimsmash!!!

green

tenant

There's still time to click on my tenant-->
just sayin'

Leprechauns

In Honor of St. Patrick's Day
I'm re-posting the classic clip
Leprechauns in Alabama
- watch it here

Galaxy Glue

This Movie
was on earlier this week..

it's still in my head:
"Galaxy Glue, Galaxy Glue,
life would go to pieces without
Galaxy Glue"

friday

Hi Kids, Sorry for my lack of posts
it's been a busy week
Have I ever mentioned how much I loathe work?
At least it's FRIDAY
woo hoooooo

update

At approximately 9:45 this morning
after arriving the usual 1 hour late for work.

Crazy was fired.
Elvis has left the building.

Let us all now have a moment
of silence in her memory.

crazy

There's a new saleswoman
at the office
I made you a visual
She looks like this
<--------



Here is an actual conversation that took place today:

Crazy: Staring at the fax machine.. cautiously walking around it
with a scared/baffled look like a meteorite had just crashed into
the office...mumbles something...
"How do I do this again?" Another coworker explains it to her
for the 15th time. I pretend I'm busy.. I want no part of this...
She gets ready to dial the fax number
"OH I didn't get the fax number I got the email instead
that won't work will it???"

Me: "What? the email address? uhh, no you need the fax number
to send a fax"

Crazy: angry..."Well I didn't get the fax number!!"

Me: *pause* well, you'll need that to send a fax...
I don't make the rules

Crazy: "You know who's still getting awards?"

Me: "what?"

Crazy: "Elvis Presley"

Me: (thinking to myself .. oh god please not Elvis again) "yeah?"

Crazy: "That's right, he got an award for love me tender
(She actually sang a few verses for me)
although I feel he was too young at the time for some of the words
in that particular song.." then she went on this Elvis tangent about
some show in Vegas and a guys wig falling off and Elvis laughing.. I had no
fucking clue what she was talking about
so I smiled and nodded. and prayed for it to end soon

Me: "Wow.. still getting awards huh?"

Crazy: "Thank you for all your help today, you've been very helpful"

Me: "okay then"

-insanity is a prerequisite at my workplace

answers

I HAVE THE ANSWERS

Tanya asked
How do I get myself to finish my book and maybe
paint something to hang in the nursery?
And when are you coming up here to help me do
all these things?!
Screw it.. the book can wait - Wouldn't you rather use
that time to nap? - and as far as painting something for
the nursery just buy something instead
- therefore giving you extra nap time
Coming to help: If you insist on doing this stuff..
How's next Tuesday around 4:15? Have cookies waiting for me.

Ducthy asked
What is keeping my totally understanding, hot looking,
rich, muscular, minding his own business when he needs to,
not in my face 24/day but only when I need him, shutting up
when I don't care to hear his opinion, new man!?
He just got tied up in traffic, he should be there soon
He should have called you to say he was going to be late
... typical, inconsiderate, no good son of a bitch

Dirty asked
I want to know why Daylight Savings is such a bitch.
I've taken several naps and I'm still tired.
All I want to do is slack.
Oh and what is your idea of the perfect Saturday night?
the perfect Saturday Night
Daylight savings IS a bitch, but the extra daylight is sweet
so we must suffer for good things- also there is no shame in slacking
Perfect Saturday Night:
No god damn barbecuing...
- we go out to eat with friends (wherever I want to go)
- then back to my house, chill on the deck, drinks, fire in the chiminea
and everyone manages to NOT rag on me the entire night

Teri asked
Why do you show more pictures of Travis and never of Jerry?
Travis is more photogenic and he knows how to ham it up..
Do you like Travis more than Jerry?
Hell yeah, Travis is the greatest cat on the planet
Jerry is a miserable bastard who tries to bite me on a daily basis
Now you're all thinking - oh that's so mean!
okay.. Jerry lives a life of luxury,
the best food, kitty condos to sprawl in, ample cat nip
so poor Jerry my ass

Dave asked
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?
Well Dave..If a woodchuck could chuck wood
he wood chuck approximately 3.5 cords per day
assuming the woodchuck had weekends off to rest

Lynda asked
Um...why is Monday every 7 days?
Can't we pass a law to make it every 14 days??
Because life sucks Lynda...
We can't pass a law because all the rich people won't allow it
they want us to work.

Grant Miller asked
Why me?
You know why Miller.... you know why...

Dick asked
So Jen, why does David Hasselhoff pose naked with puppies?
Because kittens scratch, and Davd has tender skin

Annie asked
What is the Italian word for disgusting?
"La Marina"

Boob Lady asked
Why am I lactose intolerant?
Because life is unfair and cruel
Why doesn't that stop me from eating dairy?
Because you're a Bad Ass and you can take on anything!!
your motto: BRING IT ON

Nobody™ asked
Why wasn't I born smart instead of so damned good looking?
Don't ask why.. just enjoy it
good looking people are way cooler than smart people

Dick asked
The tag says "do not remove under penalty of law".
So what would happen if I removed the tag
(before I bought the merchandise). Could the store owner call 911
and have me arrested? How much jailtime? A year? Ten years?
Just for ripping off a tag????
It's not your tag to rip is it?? Is it Dick?? You can't just go
around ripping tags, but In your case Dick.. a plea of not guilty by
reason of insanity is entered and you walk free
Question 2
I sign out for a library book. I forget about the book. I realize
I have the book 30 years later and return it and don't pay the fine.
Do I go to jail? Does the library put a lien on my home?
Does my driver's license get revoked like they do if you
don't pay child support??
It all depends on the book.

Mel asked
Where was your I hate monday post this week?
I slacked this week.. and I figured you guys
must be growing tired of the monday sucks posts
Did you not hate monday this week?
I HATE ALL MONDAYS - always

Jerk of all trades asked
Is it too late to ask you a question?
it's never too late
Aw crap, does that count as my question?!
nope
I just asked two questions didn't I?
yep
Phuc'n.....that's three now isn't it?
that's okay
I'm just gonna stop talking now ok?
You don't have to

Tuesday Work Sucks Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

Oh.. the pain in my wrist
I'm getting carpal tunnel
No one gives a shit...

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

tenant time

Have You Clicked On My Renter?
You Should...

Ask a question day

Since I have nothing good to post about today
It's Ask A Question Day!
ask me a question
about anything
I might even answer you
depending on my mood of course..

classic

Feed the Kitty
my favorite cartoon of all time...

Watch it here

13

Thursday Thirteen
13 random things
I Just Don't Like

ready.. set... go.

1. Celery- I don't like it. I Remember one time, in kindergarten
some kid brought celery with cream cheese in for "snack time" - I was pissed
2. Jennifer Love Hewitt - Why is she famous? I don't understand...
3. Van Halen - (mostly the David Lee Roth Years) I'm not apologizing for this








4. Dick Cheney- Do I even have to explain this one...?









5. Weddings - Seriously.. I have better things to do with my weekend
than watch you do the macarena & chicken dance .. but thanks anyway
6. Telemarketers - They call my work all day long - fuck off!
7. PCs- Macintosh is far superior (in my humble opinion)
8. Fast Food -It's disgusting - go rent supersize me
9. Cranberry Juice - It gives me a sore throat, it's an unexplainable mystery
10. Seafood - I just don't like it






11. My InLaws - Far too many reasons to list
12. Dancing with the Stars - I've never actually seen it... But I don't like it
13. Resistance Fall of Man - A PS3 Game my husband likes to play..
at maximum volume... I hate this game









as usual - I "13 Tag" you all

*this has been yet another fascinating post from casualslack

Pam

Pam Beesly
is 33 today
Jenna Fischer

scandal

I recently uncovered some Dick Small scandal

see for yourself...
dicksmallsblog.blogspot.com

name all 50

50 States
in 10 Minutes
I did it... with a only a minute to spare
I forgot all about New Jersey
go here

Tuesday Work Sucks Haiku

And Now...
the Tuesday Work SUCKS Haiku

I dread coming here...
My co-worker smells rancid
Do I deserve this?

Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

monday

My Day Sucked
and
My Ride Home From Work Sucked Even More

See that white stuff... that's called "snow"
and it makes people stupid and they crash into things
resulting in: me being stuck in traffic for 1 hour

monday + snow = angry jen

How was your day?

just some pics

New - Botanical Gardens
located at Roger Williams Park, Providence, RI

I took a few pics...
(Click on pic for larger view)

I can't wait for spring...

monkey business

Monkey Tribute Site
ten monkey videos..

#4 Trunk Monkey was my fave

go here