Wednesday, December 13, 2006

an email

I have this tradition with my pal Angela
- since we were kids

We send each other free samples & catalogs
(of anything)

addressed with funny names
we're mental.. what can I say

For instance.. last week
I received 2 Free Condoms & 1 Adult Diaper
also... A Free sample of Acne Cleansing Cream

This is an email that I received this morning from Angela...
she even included some pics

Subject line: Special Thanks to You
Dear Jen:
I just wanted to extend my heartfelt thanks from me
(& also from Nanna Canoli)
to you for the wonderful catalog you signed me/us up for.
I received it in the mail just yesterday. It's called: "
Brigade Quartermasters"
and it is filled with the most wonderful military tactical training gear any woman
could ask for. Inside I found a few items I'd like to find under my christmas tree
this year... like the "Bali-Song Butterfly Knife" and the "Fortis Convert Stab Vest"
In fact, there's something in it for the whole family! Jack spied some
"Seven Oceans Emergency Rations" that we'll be secretly stuffing in his
stocking this year. A little something special on the way for the wonderful man
in my life, too... the "Field Surgical Implement Kit with Pouch" and the
"Emergency War Surgery Handbook". Yes, there will be no visions of sugarplums
this Christmas Eve, my friend... only that of Kevlar and Meals-Ready-To-Eat.
...and the best part is... I am now on the United States government terrorist hitlist.
Thanks a bunch.
Love 'n Kisses,


Lynda said...

So the baby is going to be delivered at home, huh?

I want to get an adult diaper sample sent to my dad for his birthday this year. HAHAHAHA!

2 fools said...

In our current war, I have received the following freebies:

1. The Book of Mormon
2. FiberSure w/ measuring spoon
3. Trojan Condom (Extra Sensitive)(too late I might add)
4. L'Oreal Age Perfect Pro-Calcium Day Cream for Very Mature Skin

"...for very mature skin..." Angela reads. "Why you little bitch..."

2 fools said...

Yes, by cesaerean, too- Don't worry, with that little handbook, I have ever confidence that my boyfriend can do it.

Teri said...

Angela has the bestest friends in the whole wide world. who else would look after her tacticle techniques and provide food for the journey?

No one, that's who. If Jen wasn't in her life Angela would have been a goner long ago.

Count your blessings 2 fools and have fun with the knife and vest.

Jen said...

Thanks Teri!
You're so right...


2 fools said...

FUN?! These items are not just fun they are staples of my very survival in the urban world. Jen is not only my friend she is my guardian angel... bless you, you dirty little trollup.

Lynda said...

Maybe you can save the condoms for after the baby....

Better than that adult diaper. HAHAHA!

2 fools said...

HAHAHHA True. Perhaps I'll need both after the baby.

Anonymous said...

The funny thing is that that is actually shit that might be on some of my famiy members Christmas list.


Anonymous said...

My husband would leave me for you for sending gifts like that.. He's a closet Commando..

Wow I just made my husband sound gay.