Another Horrific Clip

Yet another example
of BAD television...
so very very BAD - painfully bad
it's here



*warning may cause nausea or vomiting.

french fry

Last night we went out to eat
with some friends...

I'm sitting at the table
My husband is to my left

I was talking with my friend to the right of me
All of a sudden I feel this burning pain on the back of my left hand

I quickly turn to my husband
He sat there with a french fry in his hand and a smile on his face

here is the conversation that ensued:

Me: OWWWWW!
What!!? What did you just do? Did you burn me with a french fry??

Tim: Was that hot?

Me: Why the hell did you burn me with a french fry??
Why would you do that?

Tim: I wanted to see if it was hot..

Me: The steam rising from the plate wasn't a hint?
You knew it was hot, idiot...

Tim: Have some french fries (big smile)

Me: **sigh**

Tim: At least I didn't burn you with the clamcake that was "way hotter"

Me: thanks

Then our friend yells from other side of the table:
"Just remember... when
He asked you to marry him and you said "YES"

Me: **sigh**



And that's my uneventful weekend..
How was yours?

horrific clip of the day #1

okay...
this is "SHANE" the same guy
that was singing Journey
a few posts back



I really have no words for this -
you just have to watch it
go here

I can totally see this guy uttering the phrase
"Now it places the lotion in the basket. "

food

MMmmm Pancakes Again!
I'm a big fan of breakfast for dinner...

What did you eat?

HAhahHAHAHAAA

All I can say
is... Wow

watch this- hurry!

because it's good

Does anyone else love
Bit O' Honey?

Is it just me? Am I the only one?

I highly recommended it
Just Sayin'

true talent

this dude can sing..

Shane Rocks
Journey
go here- you must!





snagged from the great JIMSMASH!

bad tv

I had just finished watching Survivor

(shut up... I like survivor)

I grab the remote -I change the channel
there was a commercial on
I think nothing of it and go about my computing
I'm not really paying attention to the tv

AND THEN..
ALL OF A SUDDEN...
I look up and see Dionne Warwick & that chick
who played xena warrior princess
And they are singing... "I Say A Little Pray For You"

horrific

but wait... there's more
Marie Osmond & Little Richard
are the "celebrity" judges

My husband was sleeping on the couch next to me
I frantically woke him up - he had to see this

His reaction...
Uggggghhhhhhhh
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
It's so awful

Then he immediately fell back asleep

I scramble for my digital camera
I had to take a picture of this nightmare
to prove It wasn't a hallucination
sorry for the glare

THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT?

This is an actual tv show... people enjoy this?
How can this be?

I don't know whether to laugh or throw up

oh wait.. I choose laughter
HAHAHAHAHahaHAHHA!!!
Bad tv
So very, very BAD

I changed the channel and tried to forget about what I saw

it's back

I got my laptop back...
(notice the worn out left click)

I was so happy to get it back!! I turned it on!!
& I opened up the browser!!
And THEN Guess WHat Happened!!!
MY CURSOR STUCK TO THE WINDOW AGAIN

SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah so, it's still doing the same thing it was doing before
it's not doing it as much BUT it's still not right
the SLACK IS ANGRY!!

We've had it for 4 1/2 years and it always worked great!!
But this is just too annoying for me to handle
I might end up throwing it across the room...
and that wouldn't be good

I have no choice but to purchase a mac laptop


I'm giving the Gateway back to Tim
we originally bought it for him so he could play games on it
he played one or two games then I took over control

He tries to go online now and then
but he has to fight me for it!

Now - He can go online all he wants

We will have His & Her Laptops
it's GENIUS!! GENIUS I Tell Ya!!

Can I borrow some cash for the new laptop? Anyone?
Spare change? Thanks...

Just Some Travis

email

I received this email this morning
from my friend Angela

Her emails never fail to make me laugh!
so I thought I should share it with you...

click on image for larger version

sick bastards

Last night I watched
Animal Precinct
I usually try to avoid this show
because it infuriates
& depresses me


It's like a "COPS" type tv show but for animals...

Anyway these two scumbag women in Brooklyn
threw 13 newborn puppies in a trash can
their dog had a litter and they just didn't want them

Apparently the neighbors got home around 2 am and heard crying
coming from the trash can when the opened it the saw two puppies wrapped
up in a bag they brought them in the house not knowing that there was
another 11 puppies still in the trash

the next day aspca police went to the house, searched through the
rotting garbage and pulled them out... 3 were already dead

they rushed them to the hospital - they did all they could,
but only two survived

I had tears in my eyes as I watched it.

I think that in these situations...
The people should have to suffer the same pain that they inflicted
(followed by DEATH of course)

Send these evil fucks back to the depths of hell in which they came
People like this do not deserve to breathe our oxygen...

When I rule the world... things will be different!
I will hand out death penalties like candy!!

I vow to rid the world of all the nasty people!

VOTE SLACK for RULER of the WORLD!

A Slack Movie Review

Last night I still wasn't feeling so good
so I slacked on the couch and
figured I'd watch a movie

HBO had TWO for the MONEY
I had never seen it
but I figured McConaughy...Pacino
Awesome!

So I watched it


AND NOW MY REVIEW

What a fucking waste of time!!
Can someone please give me back the 2 hours
of my life that I wasted?? This movie sucked!

This has been a casual slack movie review
All rights reserved © 1973

sierra mist

I think I love Sierra Mist
(not as much as Mountain Dew of course - that would be crazy)

I try not to drink a lot of soda
because it's so incredibly BAD for you

But once in a while won't kill me ... will it?
Okay, It might... but I don't care.
Why do they have to make it taste so good?
DAMN THEM!!

I just tried Sierra Mist & I thought you should know
it's a QUALITY BEVERAGE!
You must try it.
Forget about SPRITE.. Forget 7-Up
it's all over for them

The only thing wrong with Sierra Mist is that it's
Caffeine Free
Can you Imagine???
Caffeine Free? How dare they!

It's like Non-Alcoholic Beer - What's the Point!

HAhahHAHAHhah
Cool T-Shirt
the cotton factory

**If you don't watch the Simpsons
You're not laughing right now

*** Why the hell don't you watch the Simpsons?

I want it back

I WANT IT BACK
Last night Tim took our laptop to get fixed...
the cursor was sticking to the windows
It just wasn't working right.

He told me when he dropped it off the guy said
looks like you just “wore out the button”

OKay...
I admit it.. I have an addiction
So what... I wore out the mouse on our laptop.

All night I kept looking over at the coffee table
at the empty spot where the laptop should have been

sure...
I could have gone upstairs and used the other computer
but it’s all the way upstairs!

I want my laptop back
I may need to go to counseling..
I’m having withdrawals

What if he has to special order the button???
What if it takes weeks to get it fixed???
What am I going to do???

I hope I don’t have to rob a convenience store
to get money to buy a new laptop to feed my habit

I hope it doesn’t come to that...

the collection

Here Are All the
Work Sucks Haiku's
from the Slack beginnings to now!
go here

Commerical for Xbox
Insane Woman

watch it

The Tuesday Work Sucks Haiku

And Now...The Tuesday
Work Sucks Haiku

I hate being here
I am trapped... suffocated
It is killing me


Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.

- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables

sorry for my lack of posts today
I'm not feeling so good, I think I'm getting a cold

Headache, can't stop sneezing
I'm cold.. no I'm hot... no wait.. I'm cold

I'm exhausted...

NAP TIME! Maybe I'll be back later...

So please go visit my renter Dr. Mom
while you're there ask her to write me a prescription
thanks

Monday's make me sad.

Personality Test

go here

I picked #3

What number did you pick?

it's just popcorn

I made popcorn today
I got this popper for christmas 2 years ago & never
opened it, but today was the day kids!

(I know... I can feel the excitment too)

I remember making popcorn when I was a kid
we had a popper similar to this
Only the top was made of glass rather that plastic

So when I saw this fancy machine
at the store I had to have it...
(Even though it took me 2 years to take it out of the box)

FACT:
It kicks microwave popcorn's ass!

I decided to photo document the popcorn popping process
since I have nothing else to talk about

Here we go

This has been another fascinating post
from casual slack

no need to thank me

good weekend

We went camping down near the beach again
We actually had a great time

So, I don't have any good stories...

We did get woken up around 7am
and it wasn't kids this time
Just some loud obnoxious jerkoffs
who thought 7am was a great time to wake up and party!
Woo HOOOOOOO!!!

But other than the early morning wake up
things went smoooooth

HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND???

babytoupee.com
small wigs for small people

go here


saw this over at blah blah blog

tagged again

Tagged by the infamous ZED
five words. I am supposed to write down the first thing that comes to my mind
when I see that word. Then I am supposed to pick five different words and tag

Diet- first thing that comes to my mind is Diet Coke...
I drink diet coke, I don't really like it, yet I still drink it. I don't like the way
it tastes in the can - it has to be in a glass with ice & a straw... oh and lemon.
When I go to a restaurant I always ask for lemon and they say okay!
But when I get it - NO LEMON! ALWAYS!!

Fluctuation- My mood - it's bad when I'm at work.. then changes when I leave

Giggle- I think: "That's such a stupid word... "

Gravity- Space the final frontier, One small step for man & all that stuff

Hangnail- Damn, has anyone seen the nail clippers?

Then I am supposed to pick five
different words and tag some people
-Loathe
-Baffled
-Campsite
-Evolution
-Happiness

TAGS - if you feel like it...
stjarna
kattbanjo
WPoFD
Dale
mermade

wtf

WTF?
Click THis!

& this too


I saw this over at
Sweet Nothings...and such
thanks YGF!

Can I Get Some Enthusiasm!

tenant time

It's Tenant Time Again

This means another field trip kids...

This Week
you've got 2 b kidding
from the Cul-de-Sac

I want all of you to line up single file again
Let's all go and visit Doctor Mom

**SIGH**
here we go again with the roll call

Zed & Teri? Has anyone seen Zed & Teri???
They were just here a second ago... Dick- can you go find Zed & Teri

Fab, stop playing with your vector and get in line...
Nobody put down the BBQ Lay’s
Dutch Bitch stop watching Fab play with his vector...

Amy PLEASE shut off that music.. no one wants to listen to
"I had a Bad Day"over and over again

Mr. Gravely stop making threats or your cookie privileges will be revoked
I mean it... play nice

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY NO RUNNING!?!
SINGLE FILE! You guys ALL NEED RITALIN

THIS IS EXHAUSTING...

Sans - keep blue beak on a leash I had "pecking" complaints last time,

Your Girl Friday & Scarlet - Steve Irwin would want you to get in line...

Lynda it will be a great journey!
sexy lexi-you can finish your masthead when we get back...
Katt- yes you can bring your banjo, Mel you can take one greyhound JUST ONE
Anne, Mermade, Hapabukbuk, the Pixie, MC, Dale, Dara, Mr. Miller Sir
wonderturtle, joe, stjarna, Kim, Jon, mixednut, Michael, Erin
Ellie, factor 10, D. Prince, Lorraine, WPoFD, gemini, holywriter, Paul B
Jim, monkey, sushiboy, wong blogger, ned, watercooler, sheila
DeniseNYC, Mainline Mom, Dadguy, cicibug, ❉ pixie ❉, Ritardo

2 Fools no pissing on Dr. moms blog- thanks
unless of course the good doctor asks for a urine sample...

All the anonymous folks lurking about - you're not exempt from this!
Is that everyone? Did I forget anyone?

There will be cookies & juice after you complete your visit
Clamato juice will also be made available upon request

See where it says
No Thumbnail Available - Top Right
------->
Click That

Family Guy
Voice Recording

cool clip

flashback in the supermarket

Flashback
circa 1993 - I think

I worked at a supermarket in my younger years.
One day after work a few of us decided to go to a movie
Sorry, I don't remember what movie.

So we bought our tickets
but the movie didn't start for another hour

WHAT SHALL WE DO??
Next door to the theater was a "rival" supermarket
we went in - to walk around and kill some time -

Then we had an idea
Let's break something!

We thought it would be hilarious
to smash a bottle of
"Clamato Juice" on the floor

Then Yell - Spill in Aisle Five

We chose Clamato Juice because it's the
nastiest of the juice family & we were familiar with it
because we all worked at a supermarket and would
often wonder who would actually drink this crap...

So my friend at the time hands me the bottle
and says "pretend to hand it to me and I won't catch it.."

Awesome! - Best Idea EVER!

So I did... and it fell to the floor and exploded

Clamato Juice - EVERYWHERE
It smelled extremely bad - That made it even funnier!

I got some on my pants - this wasn't funny.

We laughed
Then walked quickly to the exit.
Not too obvious...

Looking back... I don't know why we found this so funny
HAhahAHah well... maybe it's a little funny

So here is my written apology

Dear 16 year old "service clerk supermarket employee"
You are probably about 29 -30 years old now??
If you're still working at the supermarket, mopping up spills
you are a pathetic asshole
Oh wait.. I'm veering off the topic...
OKay...
I just wanted to let you know
I am deeply sorry you had to mop up the nasty clamato juice
It wasn't very nice of me to do that.
Please find it in your heart to forgive me.

Thanks

I'm glad I could get this off my chest


Side note: this juice would go great with Zed's favorite chips post
which actually made me think of this story.

Eleven Twelve
count with me...

watch it here

Fee Feasible

Because it's funny - that's why

flashback- psa

Remember These?

psa1- Abominable Snowman
psa2 - Abominable Snowman
psa3- Dr. Brainstein
psa-caveman

40

I got a 40 questions email
So I did it! And I Shall TAG Others...!

1. Do you still have tonsils? - Nope 2nd grade..gone
2. Would you bungee jump? - No
3. If You Could Do Anything In The World For A Living What Would It Be? - Movie Director
4. How many tattoos do you have? One.. a rose on my ankle - Why the fuck did I get a rose?
I wish I got something different!!! GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!! I was 18... I'll cover it with something else..someday... Stupid!! Stupid!! Stupid!!!
5. Your favorite fictional animal? - Animal on the muppets
6. One person that never fails to make you laugh? - Myself
7. Do you consider yourself well organized? - not even remotely
8. Any Addictions? - My computer...
9. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news? CNN.com
10. Would you rather go to a carnival or circus? Neither- both shit holes
11. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? Marine Biologist
12. Best Movie You've Seen This Year? - Little Miss Sunshine
13. Favourite alcoholic drink - Mike's Hard Lime - Everybody knows that!
14. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Curse my life, then take a shower
15. Siblings? One older brother
16. What is the best thing about your job? - Nothing, not a god damn thing.
17. Have you ever gone to therapy? - No
18. If you could have one super power what would it be? - the Power to Time Travel
19. Do you own any furniture from Ikea? - A table in my office and I love it!
20. Have you ever gone camping? - All the time
21. Gas prices! First thought? - No idea, I just pay for it, I don't look at the price, need it regardless
22. Your favorite cartoon character? - Bugs Bunny is King
23. What was your first car? - silver toyota corolla
24. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual? nope, I like it
25. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons? D'oh! That is the stupidest question..ever!
26. Do you go to church? no
27. What famous person would you like to have dinner with? Larry David, Steve Carell or David Letterman
28. What errand/chore do you despise? Putting the Laundry away
29. First thought when the alarm went off this morning? - FUCK!! FUCK!!!! I fucking hate this life of work (every single morning...same thought)
30. Last time you puked from drinking? Probably 11 years ago
31. What is your heritage? italian
32. Favorite flower? Zinnias, Black Eyed Susans
33. Disney or Warner Bros? Warner
34. What is your best childhood memory? HAHhaHAHhHAHhahahah
35. Your favorite potato chip? Fritos are Better
36. What is your favorite candy ? Hershey's Take 5
37. Do you burn or tan? BURN to a CRISP
38. Astrological sign? - Scorpio
39. Do you own a gun? We have shot gun, so you better watch yourself... Don't try anything funny
40. What do you think of hot dogs? - Disgusting Biproduct **GAG**

TAGS - If you feel like doing it

Zed
Teri
Amy
Scarlet
Dr. Mom
Nobody
Mel
Hapabukbuk
sans

guest post

And now ladies & gentlemen
a guest post from the infamous ZED

Enjoy...



Jen's Fair State of Rhode Island

Rhode Island is a little, tiny, tiny, tiny, little, tiny state on the
northeast coast of the U.S., with Massachusetts to its north and Connecticut to its west. When Americans play the game Name the States on long car trips, Rhode Island will most likely be the state whose name no one can recall. I dare you to name its capital off the top of your head. Go ahead. Well the answer is Providence, and by a show of hands, how many of us have been there? I thought so.
No one even lives in Providence. It's empty. There's a McDonald's and a Payless, and one bus that goes from East Providence to Newport twice a day. You'd think there'd be a "West Providence" if there's an East Providence, but RI's just not wide enough to accommodate it.
Roger Williams founded the state in 1686. And for that, everywhere you go there's something named after him: Roger Williams National Memorial, Roger Williams Park & Zoo, Roger Williams Park Boathouse, Roger Williams University. Roger Williams this and Roger Williams that. It gets old.
If you start at the easternmost tip of Connecticut and drive toward the Atlantic Ocean, it will take 9 to 11 minutes to cross the entire state if you drive at a snail's pace. Whatever you do, don't take a short nap, or you'll miss it. But while Rhode Island is very very very small, it's a beautiful state, I'll say that for it.
There's water and boating and lighthouses everywhere, and many stately mansions owned by famous millionaires of the past exist in Newport. In fact, Jen is a direct descendant of the Vanderbilts, but I believe she was cast out of the Vanderbilt family about 12 years ago for some very questionable behavior. Ahem. I don't think she wants to discuss that in any detail, and being the soul of discretion, neither shall I. I'm so sorry I even brought it up.
Rhode Island's 400 miles of coastline are quite impressive. But don't fall into the sea because no one lives in Rhode Island except for Jen and Tim and a few fishermen--or to be politically correct, fisherpeople--and the governor, and they're all far too busy to go lookin' for the likes of you or your family in the ocean.
Block Island, a beautiful vacation place, is owned by the state. It is about 30 minutes east by high-speed ferry, and I've heard it's moving out to sea at a rate of 1-2 inches per 5 years. The truth is, it's trying to separate itself from RI.
Well that's about it. Jen might become governor of this fair state some day and turn the whole thing around for Rhode Island. I believe she can do it; I hope so. In ten years there could be 2 Payless shoe stores in Providence, a bigger McDonalds, and a KFC; you never know.

Zed

Cute
Kittens in Box

watch it

dedication

I dedicate these
Nornna Clips to Joe

(He Loves Nornna Very Much)

nornna1
nornna2
nornna3


Joe - no need to thank me, It was my pleasure...