Monday, October 02, 2006

Guest Post

And Now Ladies & Gentlemen
A guest post from the infamous
AMY from MishMash

Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes.

Jen posts about pancakes almost on a weekly basis. I’ve never met Jen,
but judging by all the yummy pancakes, popcorn, pop-tarts, Strawberry Mini-Wheats
and whatever else she eats, I’d say she’s probably the size of a barn.
She never posts about delicious sugar-free bran muffins
she never posts about exercise. She blogs, creates haikus, and
eats lots of carbs and sugar and preservatives.
And she likes to eat stuff that starts with “P”.

I know that I have gained roughly 75 lbs in the time I have
been reading Casual Slack.

I think Jen might have decided to call it Casual Slack because
you will need to have some Slack in your pants, because your waistline
will just grow and grow. Reading Casual Slack
is kinda like smoking pot (I think… I’m very innocent, I’m just going on what I’ve learned from 80’s movies), in that you “get the munchies”. Casual Slack is cyber-pot.
Pot also starts with “P”.
Even the pictures of her cat makes it look like he is stoned.
I took a brief course in nutrition once.
Maybe it was in middle school, maybe later in life, I can’t be sure.
But, I can be sure of this formula:
Blogging + haikuing - exercise (carbs + sugar x preservatives) +
things that start with “P” + cats = fat stoner.

But there could be some variables that I don’t know about, of course.

Jen, you also owe me $30.00, because I had to go buy an air-popper
because of your damn blog. And, maybe I should increase that amount
to $1330.00, because the popper was broken, and I really wanted some
freakin’ popcorn, but couldn’t have it… so I suffered emotionally.
All… because… of …. YOU!!
I know what you all are thinking.. why don’t you just stop reading
Casual Slack, Amy? Because not only is it cyber-pot, it’s cyber-crack,
and I’m addicted. She sucks you in with the food, and then posts about Norna,
and then you're just hooked. I guess I’ll have to sue Jen for my rehab costs, too.

on a side note
maybe I should post about salad...?



Anonymous said...

"Fat stoner?"
Who you callin' fat?

Anonymous said...

BTW, funny as hell Amy!

Jen said...

My favorite line:

"Because not only is it cyber-pot, it’s cyber-crack"

- I'm gonna go for a jog now
right after I drink my protein
vitamin shake...

Anonymous said...

Thank you, thank you!

Anonymous said...

From now on it's nothing but cucumbers, corn, celery, & carrots, all the time. Right Jen?

Jen said...

mixednut - That's right!

I just want Amy to have
a better vision of me..
AND to lose the 75lbs she
has gained since slack

for now on
Only posts about:

vitamin supplements...
running track...
bean sprouts...
maybe cranberries

and rope jumping

I think people are really
going to enjoy this new format
what do you think?

Anonymous said...

No... I need the cyber-crack to continue.

By the way, mixednut... cucumbers, corn, celery, carrots??? All start with "C".

Anonymous said...

please don't change the format
to vegetables

Teri said...

oh, that was funny as HELL!

Jen, if you revert to the veggies and protein shakes, I'm leaving, right NOW and never coming back...

okay, I'll be back tomorrow, but not after that....well maybe after that but I won't put up with any veggie talk...........

Anonymous said...

.... um, Jen, you're not REALLY the size of a barn, are you??? ARE you????????

Jen said...

we were at the commune together
you know the real truth

I haven't changed much
since that picture

Jen said...

I just binge & purge
it's a vicious circle

2 fools said...

Fat Stoner?!

Having personally known our girl Jen for my entire life (barring the separation in utero) I can assure you, that she is hardly the size of barn, but rather, the size of a pretty, petite, precisely proportioned, pot-free, pillar of perfection.

(still a funny post, and I did vote for you and not myself) LOL

2 fools said...

Oh snap! Did I say "Pot Free?" I meant "Free Pot"

Anonymous said...

I'm in!