Thursday, October 12, 2006


I used to love Halloween as a kid even though I never really had
too many "fun Halloweens"
My childhood was far from enjoyable

my Halloween plans for some reason would always be ruined
for instance...
I would have plans to go out for with my friend Angela who
lived up the street and ten minutes before we were supposed to leave
her father would ground her for 3 weeks for no apparent reason...
yeah... she didn't have an enjoyable childhood either

We lived in a neighborhood were the houses were far apart
you would get out of breathe going from house to house so my
mother would drive us... or she would make me go
with some other kids that I didn't even like just because
she knew their mother...
god that sucked

I remember I always wanted to dress up as a devil or a pirate

but when I was really young the costumes
looked looked this...

I remember standing in the store
staring at all of the boxes
unable to decide what plastic mask I wanted to be
such a difficult decision - so many choices

Which brings us to another episode of "What WERE they thinking?"

You can breathe in it until sweat forms on your face and
gives you a nice itchy rash. When the fun of that wears off, you nearly
cut your tongue off by sticking it through the tiny slit for a
breathing hole they give you.

You wanted so much to keep the mask on
but you would get to the point where your face starts melting
and you have no choice but to prop it up on the top of your head
the cool air would hit your face and it would feel so good

Tons of fun would be had by all with this vinyl hot box.
Not only can you not see or breathe, but you can't hear either with
the swish swashing of those fucking vinyl pants.

Ahhh Memories

I wish I had kept those old costumes
worth big bucks these days!

Nowadays I shut the lights off on Halloween
because neither I nor my husband can get our lazy asses
off the couch to answer the door... Is that wrong?

Cool Retro Costume Site


Teri said...

I remember those hot, itchy, costumes. Brother, what a treat.

no, I don't think it's wrong that you can't get your lazy butt off the couch. Something good's on tv, right?

Anonymous said...

Those masks are the worst. I can't believe they still make them.
Might as well put a plastic produce bag over your head.

Anonymous said...

"the swish swashing of those fucking vinyl pants" just caused me to laugh and splatter drink on my keyboard.



Zed said...

I don't think it's wrong. Besides, fewer and fewer kids knock on doors these days. The whole thing seems to be over by 8:30 pm. Wrong? What's wrong is I always wind up eating all the leftover candy...

Anonymous said...

I never had those problems. I just used to go naked. You wouldn't believe the amount of candy I'd get...

Annie said...

I don't remember what I was for halloween but it was one of those ridiculous costumes.

I hate getting up too. I don't get many kids away, but I have a feeling I will get more this year :(

2 fools said...

HAHAHHAHA It's true! Only he would ground me for a YEAR and 3 weeks, not just 3 weeks. Ahhh yes, we were blessed with a lovely childhood indeed.

Anonymous said...

Be prepared for some trick or treaters this year....we are coming over ..HA!!!

Joe said...

Ahhh...U must have been so cute Jen walking door-to-door...

"Twick Oh Tweet sur"

...and then from the car, "Hurry up kids, let's goooo!"

Maybe that's why the door has a skeleton hanging worth $2.50???

Anonymous said...

It is wrong, you grinchy bitch, to not give candy on Halloween.

I remember going trick or treating... going up to a door with the LIGHT ON... and we heard them come to the door, lock it, and turn the light off while we were standing there.

Anonymous said...

I had a rainbow brite costume that was just like that, plastic mask with stupid painted grocery bag with slits for your arms.

I'll see if i can find a picture! What a riot.

Doctor Mom™ said...

Bah Humbug!
I don't do Halloween... I'm the Halloween grinch... oh, I guess I'm getting my characters mixed up... I guess I'm the Halloween Scrooge

Moderator said...

I always hated Halloween. I still hate Halloween. I didn't like candy as a kid. I still don't.

Perhaps that explains why I have no friends.

Lynda said...

I am thinking of turning off the lights and not getting my lazy ass off the couch also.