Saturday, September 30, 2006
Friday, September 29, 2006
just an email
Since I am extremely tired today
and don't have any thoughts for a post at the moment
Here is yet another quality email from my friend Angela!
I received this moring...
enjoy
Last night Jack is sitting there doing his homework.
Which looks like this:
and don't have any thoughts for a post at the moment
Here is yet another quality email from my friend Angela!
I received this moring...
enjoy
Last night Jack is sitting there doing his homework.
Which looks like this:
____UMP
____UMP
____UMP
over and over again about 20 times... so he's trying to think of words
to fill in the blanks... so he gets through as many as he can think of
and then says: I can't think of any more. So I said, "write the alphabet
down on a separate piece of paper, then go through them and see which
ones make words". He calls me in there a few minutes later and says,
"Well, I went through them all and I can't think of any more."
So I start going through the alphabet and we get to "H" and I say:
"Hump. What about Hump?, you didn't put that one down?"
He turned like 40 shades of red and goes, "MOOOOOOOOOM! I can't write that!"
I said, "Why not, why can't you write hump down? it's a word?"
He's like DYING laughing and goes, "Stop! Stop! saying it!" HAHAHAHA
to fill in the blanks... so he gets through as many as he can think of
and then says: I can't think of any more. So I said, "write the alphabet
down on a separate piece of paper, then go through them and see which
ones make words". He calls me in there a few minutes later and says,
"Well, I went through them all and I can't think of any more."
So I start going through the alphabet and we get to "H" and I say:
"Hump. What about Hump?, you didn't put that one down?"
He turned like 40 shades of red and goes, "MOOOOOOOOOM! I can't write that!"
I said, "Why not, why can't you write hump down? it's a word?"
He's like DYING laughing and goes, "Stop! Stop! saying it!" HAHAHAHA
So I have to draw a bixby to show him that sometimes people have
"humps" and camels have humps, etc... and he's all the while dying laughing
because I keep saying hump. He refused to write it on his paper. HAHAHA
"humps" and camels have humps, etc... and he's all the while dying laughing
because I keep saying hump. He refused to write it on his paper. HAHAHA
He was KILLING me, this kid.
** FYI a "Bixby" refers to a cartoon
in High School, Instead of writing notes to each other
we would draw cartoons & comic strips
"Bixby" was the name of one of the 1st characters
Angela created and the name just stuck.
I'll try to find some old ones to scan in...I kept a lot of them
the office
Deleted Scenes fromlast nights the office
go here
What did you think of
last night's episode?
next weeks episode: Angela pushes Dwight
to take action against Michael
Thursday, September 28, 2006
MacBook
Have I Told You ThatMy New MacBook ROCKS!
I highly recommend buying one
Go- Hurry!
Order one - You'll love it
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
HAhA!
The webmaster tools on google
lets you see the most recent search queries
(words or phrases that have brought visitors to the blog)
I found mine rather humorous...
"Weird Shit"
Appears to be the Winner this Week!
click for larger version
lets you see the most recent search queries
(words or phrases that have brought visitors to the blog)
I found mine rather humorous...
"Weird Shit"
Appears to be the Winner this Week!
click for larger versionBonus Haiku!
I'm having such an awful day todayI thought a "Wednesday - Work Sucks Haiku" was in order
so here it goes...
Get me out of here
Is it time to go home yet??
I'll lose my mind soon...
How is your day going?
Better than mine I would imagine.
Tell me how your day was in haiku form
so here it goes...
Get me out of here
Is it time to go home yet??
I'll lose my mind soon...
How is your day going?
Better than mine I would imagine.
Tell me how your day was in haiku form
for ZED
As many of you may already know
Zed over at
The World According to Zed
is a big big fan of the "clamato chip"
She is trying to create a new "snack chip"
that will be all the rage
so she's having a
Choose a Tortilla Chip "Flavor" ContestThe scottish theme from my earlier post inspired me
So after spending hours and hours
in the kitchen
I have developed a new flavor for her
The World According to Zed
is a big big fan of the "clamato chip"
She is trying to create a new "snack chip"
that will be all the rage
so she's having a
Choose a Tortilla Chip "Flavor" ContestThe scottish theme from my earlier post inspired me
So after spending hours and hours
in the kitchen
I have developed a new flavor for her
If these are Zed approved...
You'll be seeing these on the shelf very soon
I bet your mouth is watering... isn't it.
Mmmmm
You'll be seeing these on the shelf very soon
I bet your mouth is watering... isn't it.
Mmmmm
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Sans Pantaloons
A Tribute to
Sans Pantaloons
Andy helped me with some html
and he is now my hero
Andy resides in Scotland
this makes him - my one and only - Scottish friend / hero
Sans Pantaloons
Andy helped me with some html
and he is now my hero
Andy resides in Scotland
this makes him - my one and only - Scottish friend / hero
Here is My List of What Comes to MindWhen I Think of Scotland
1. Sans Pantaloons
2. the Accent - I love the way they talk - that's a kick ass accent!
3. My husband - he is of Scottish heritage
(his father's, father's..father is from there or something like that)
4. Bagpipes
5. Tartans- a specific woven textile pattern that
often signifies a particular Scottish clan
6. that guy on star trek
7. Haggis - a traditional Scottish dish. normally
made with sheep's heart, liver, and lungs
(**GAG** CRINGE** SHUDDER**COUGH** GAG**)
8. Sean Connery
9. Kilts
10. Scottish Terriers
11. the Loch Ness Monster
12. That Mel Gibson Movie...
That's all I got...
What do you think of?
Work Sucks Haiku
And Now...The TuesdayWork Sucks Haiku
I'm not meant for work
Giving my 2 weeks notice
Would make me happy
Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.
- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables
Monday, September 25, 2006
link of the day
this is a great siteespecially if you are not particularly
fond of your inlaws...
you can leave a story
or just read other people's stories
ihatemyinlaws.com
email from my friend
My friend Angela
Sent me this email this morning
& you guys know
I like to share the funny ones with you
so here it is....
enjoy
Sent me this email this morning
& you guys know
I like to share the funny ones with you
so here it is....
enjoy
Hey Friend,
How was your weekend? Mine was fabulous!
I left work at about 1:30 on Friday after calling my O.B. to tell her
that I couldn’t keep any food or water down for days. She sent me to Women
& Infants hospital because I needed to be “hydrated”. Well, I knew it was
going to be lots of fun when the triage nurse asked me to pee in a cup and
looks at my pee and says, “You are pregnant...you really need to drink more
fluids...your urine is orange.” I said, “Uh, yeah - I would drink more
fluids, if it didn’t come right back out.” She said, “MMm hmm.” Like, what
the does this bitch think? I’m lying? The real story is I’m trying to kill
my unborn child by depriving it of food or water... *sigh* Anyway... I get
to this room called, the “Annex” which is where they hydrate you while
you’re waiting to see the doctor. So - I get in there and the nurse says,
“Okay, we’re going to start your IV” - I said, “Yeah, okay - can I get
something to puke in?” She’s like, “Oh yeah, okay...”
So, here she comes with this hollow point harpoon and can’t find a vein, so
she proceeds to DIG for one while the needle is still in my arm. “Are you
okay?” says Marie, the nurse. “Oh, yes! yes, I’m fine, this is delightful,
perhaps when you’re done you could do the other arm??” So, although I didn’t
actually say that, my expression did, so she got someone else to poke. This
guy was a one-shot-annie! He searched high and low for a vein and when he
found it, he stabbed me like a god damned raped ape. I wish I carried my
digital camera around like you do, so I could show you the black and blue
prize on my arm. So, if that wasn’t enough, they’re now going to put some
anti-nausea medication into my IV...they do and like an hour later (as I’m
vomiting into a teeny pink kidney shaped bowl) the nurse says lovingly, “How
we doin? Is that medicine workin for ya?” Yeah, lady, it’s totally kicking
ass. So they go and get another medication called “Reglin”.
(Remind me to put this on my list of allergies.)
She shoots it directly into my IV andwithin seconds, I’m like 400 degrees,
broken out in hives and stripping my clothes off
all while standing up and sitting down like 45 times. It was
like that shit you see on Cops where the guys on PCP. The nurse is like,
“Ohhh yer havin’ a reaction to that, I’m going to get you some Benadryl”.
So, it takes them two shots of Benadryl to get me to sit the fuck down and
put my clothes back on. Once this whole ordeal is over with, I’m finally
able to eat some crackers and drink some juice. So, while I’m waiting to be
discharged, there’s a young girl to my right named, “Lateesha” who is in the
annex to have her baby’s heartbeat monitored. All you can see from the
other side of the curtain is these feet in these black fluffy slippers and
all you can hear is this LOUD chewing and crunching (mouth wide open) and I
look at my boyfriend and in complete disgust and he says, “Yeah and her feet
stink, too” HAHAHA. Moments later, Lateesha’s mom walks in with Lateesha’s
maybe 10 month old son, who is totally soaked, dripping boogers out of his
nose and CRYING! BAAAAAAAHHHH! WAHHHHHHH!.
The Vietnamese nurse is yelling at her (in her Vietnamese Accent)
“When’s the la tum you chanja dis baby?
He got a rass ol ava hess ahss! You needa chanja dis baby evy two owa!”
Lateesha says: “Sheeit! He pees A LOT! I went through 2 packs of diapers this month!,
that’s a lot!” So, does that mean we let the kids sit in his own filth because diapers are
expensive? Maybe you should have some MORE kids since you’re doing such a
bang-up job, Lateesha. Oh wait a minute...you’re due any day now! I wonder
if she thinks that Once this one's born - this will cut down on her diaper bill?
The moral of this story?
People suck, then they pass it down to their offspring.
Ahh well - fuggit.
write back
How was your weekend? Mine was fabulous!
I left work at about 1:30 on Friday after calling my O.B. to tell her
that I couldn’t keep any food or water down for days. She sent me to Women
& Infants hospital because I needed to be “hydrated”. Well, I knew it was
going to be lots of fun when the triage nurse asked me to pee in a cup and
looks at my pee and says, “You are pregnant...you really need to drink more
fluids...your urine is orange.” I said, “Uh, yeah - I would drink more
fluids, if it didn’t come right back out.” She said, “MMm hmm.” Like, what
the does this bitch think? I’m lying? The real story is I’m trying to kill
my unborn child by depriving it of food or water... *sigh* Anyway... I get
to this room called, the “Annex” which is where they hydrate you while
you’re waiting to see the doctor. So - I get in there and the nurse says,
“Okay, we’re going to start your IV” - I said, “Yeah, okay - can I get
something to puke in?” She’s like, “Oh yeah, okay...”
So, here she comes with this hollow point harpoon and can’t find a vein, so
she proceeds to DIG for one while the needle is still in my arm. “Are you
okay?” says Marie, the nurse. “Oh, yes! yes, I’m fine, this is delightful,
perhaps when you’re done you could do the other arm??” So, although I didn’t
actually say that, my expression did, so she got someone else to poke. This
guy was a one-shot-annie! He searched high and low for a vein and when he
found it, he stabbed me like a god damned raped ape. I wish I carried my
digital camera around like you do, so I could show you the black and blue
prize on my arm. So, if that wasn’t enough, they’re now going to put some
anti-nausea medication into my IV...they do and like an hour later (as I’m
vomiting into a teeny pink kidney shaped bowl) the nurse says lovingly, “How
we doin? Is that medicine workin for ya?” Yeah, lady, it’s totally kicking
ass. So they go and get another medication called “Reglin”.
(Remind me to put this on my list of allergies.)
She shoots it directly into my IV andwithin seconds, I’m like 400 degrees,
broken out in hives and stripping my clothes off
all while standing up and sitting down like 45 times. It was
like that shit you see on Cops where the guys on PCP. The nurse is like,
“Ohhh yer havin’ a reaction to that, I’m going to get you some Benadryl”.
So, it takes them two shots of Benadryl to get me to sit the fuck down and
put my clothes back on. Once this whole ordeal is over with, I’m finally
able to eat some crackers and drink some juice. So, while I’m waiting to be
discharged, there’s a young girl to my right named, “Lateesha” who is in the
annex to have her baby’s heartbeat monitored. All you can see from the
other side of the curtain is these feet in these black fluffy slippers and
all you can hear is this LOUD chewing and crunching (mouth wide open) and I
look at my boyfriend and in complete disgust and he says, “Yeah and her feet
stink, too” HAHAHA. Moments later, Lateesha’s mom walks in with Lateesha’s
maybe 10 month old son, who is totally soaked, dripping boogers out of his
nose and CRYING! BAAAAAAAHHHH! WAHHHHHHH!.
The Vietnamese nurse is yelling at her (in her Vietnamese Accent)
“When’s the la tum you chanja dis baby?
He got a rass ol ava hess ahss! You needa chanja dis baby evy two owa!”
Lateesha says: “Sheeit! He pees A LOT! I went through 2 packs of diapers this month!,
that’s a lot!” So, does that mean we let the kids sit in his own filth because diapers are
expensive? Maybe you should have some MORE kids since you’re doing such a
bang-up job, Lateesha. Oh wait a minute...you’re due any day now! I wonder
if she thinks that Once this one's born - this will cut down on her diaper bill?
The moral of this story?
People suck, then they pass it down to their offspring.
Ahh well - fuggit.
write back
Sunday, September 24, 2006
my weekend
We went to a 40th Birthday Party
on Saturday...
Here is the 40th Birthday Super Sandwich
My husband doing what he does best...I think this was plate #3
My husband wore one of his favorite shirts...
Here is our "40 year old friend"- We bought him the case of beer...
(I know... it's a classy gift)
ANDthey had 2 pinata's
A big "4" and a Big "0"
Filled with what else...
Candy & Booze!
Here is the birthday boys wife having a swing...What's better than drunk adults
swinging a bat at a pinata filled with liquor??
This just some of the quality items found inside...Sure, some of the bottles broke during the pinata pummeling
but only a few didn't make it
They have great parties!
And that's my weekend
How was yours?
upgrade
Sidebars Make Me Angry!
So Do Browsers that Don't View the Slack Correctly!
Hey Kids,
Why not upgrade your
explorer browser today - here
firefox is better
go here
It's time to upgrade... you know it's true.
PS.
Thank You For Your Help with my Sidebar Issues
& If You See My Sidebar Missing Again
Please Email Me!
Also...
Go Visit SANS He's a Genius!
So Do Browsers that Don't View the Slack Correctly!
Hey Kids,
Why not upgrade your
explorer browser today - here
firefox is better
go here
It's time to upgrade... you know it's true.
PS.
Thank You For Your Help with my Sidebar Issues
& If You See My Sidebar Missing Again
Please Email Me!
Also...
Go Visit SANS He's a Genius!
Saturday, September 23, 2006
browser
Hey..
Explorer Browser users...
Is my sidebar down at the bottom?
I've heard rumors that it is
I'm trying to fix it
but it looks fine on my explorer & firefox
Explorer Browser users...
Is my sidebar down at the bottom?
I've heard rumors that it is
I'm trying to fix it
but it looks fine on my explorer & firefox
Friday, September 22, 2006
guest post
I asked nobody to do a guest post
I visit his blog everyday
to read about nothing...
And for the record -
"Bacon Wrapped Hot Dogs"
have no business being at a "Chinese Buffet"
Spring Rolls.. YES
Fried Wontons... YES
General Tsao's Chicken...YES
Bacon Wrapped Hot Dogs... umm No
And now ladies & gentlemen
a guest post from the infamous Nobody
Enjoy...
There's Nothing crazy about the Midwest
Jen has kindly asked me to do a guest post on The Slack.
How could I say no? She proposed that I write about the
"crazy Midwest". Ok, whatever you say, Jen.
So I googled for crazy Midwest stuff. I found pretty much
nothing worth mentioning (except the Twins, and their not crazy,
right Dr Mom?). I thought for sure I'd find some sort of oddity
about the Midwest. But I really didn't.
Jen seems to think we are crazy here because you can get bacon
wrapped hot dogs at a Chinese buffet. Hey, there is NOTHING
crazy about bacon wrapped anything. If it's got bacon wrapped
around it, I'll eat it!
The weather here can certainly be crazy. It gets hotter than
hell in the summer time, with humidity in the 80-90% range at
times. We get lots of thunderstorms and even some tornado's.
And in the winter? It's cold. Really cold. With lots of snow and ice.
Okay, we must be crazy to live here.
One of the more interesting Midwest things is this whole soft drink
thing. Is it a soda, or is it pop? In Des Moines or Sioux Falls it's pop.
In Milwaukee it's a soda. But then again, those cheeseheads in
Milwaukee call a drinking fountain a "bubbler". WTF is up with that?
That is crazy. Maybe Jen is on to something.
Then there was the goofy old fart that rode his lawn mower from
western Iowa to Wisconsin to visit his brother. I'm not sure if
that guy was crazy or just stupid.
Having never been outside of the Midwest I'm not really sure if
this is a crazy place or not. How would I know? I've never been
anywhere else. For 33 years I've never left the Midwest.
That will have to change soon.
So, since I really have nothing, I'll just have to take Jen's word
that the Midwest is crazy.
And, as an extra special bonus to go along with this post, I will
finally reveal the top secret location of East Undershirt
over on my blog!
Thursday, September 21, 2006
sick update
I'm still sickI'm sick of being sick, I've had enough
I can't breathe and my head is going to explode
Pure Misery
Feel free to continue the sympathy comments
hi
Hello Mr. AHAmaDAhmadin eded...jad
sorry I'm not good with names
Anyway...Welcome to America!
I hear you're staying for a week, that's great!
Hey, have you tried
the bagged spinach??
It's really good...
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
puzzle
I was at my mothers house last weekend
and I had to take a picture of this
If you're in the neighborhood & happen to stop by her house...
You will notice she is big into home decor
the finest furniture, some antiques
her style: country / traditional
She is extremely particular about everything in her home.
BUT
if you decide to take a walk downstairs
to the unfinished basement
you'll notice this on the way down the stairs...
If you're in the neighborhood & happen to stop by her house...
You will notice she is big into home decor
the finest furniture, some antiques
her style: country / traditional
She is extremely particular about everything in her home.
BUT
if you decide to take a walk downstairs
to the unfinished basement
you'll notice this on the way down the stairs...
It's the muppets puzzle
I did when I was 11 years old
I believe it's a scene from the timeless classic
"the muppets take Manhattan"
My parents used to think I was this prodigy
because of my ability
to put puzzles together so quickly
It turns out I wasn't a prodigy
but I still like to pretend that I am... Is that wrong?
I just like the fact that my mother still has a puzzle I made
21 years ago hanging up with a blue push pin
there are even some pieces missing on the
bottom right corner
HAHAhahaHAHAHAHAHahAHHAHAHA
When I suggested she remove the puzzle
This was her response
"Nobody even goes down there but me
Leave the damn thing alone, I like it! If you don't
like it don't look at it!"
But I do like it - So there it shall stay.
the end
I did when I was 11 years old
I believe it's a scene from the timeless classic
"the muppets take Manhattan"
My parents used to think I was this prodigy
because of my ability
to put puzzles together so quickly
It turns out I wasn't a prodigy
but I still like to pretend that I am... Is that wrong?
I just like the fact that my mother still has a puzzle I made
21 years ago hanging up with a blue push pin
there are even some pieces missing on the
bottom right corner
HAHAhahaHAHAHAHAHahAHHAHAHA
When I suggested she remove the puzzle
This was her response
"Nobody even goes down there but me
Leave the damn thing alone, I like it! If you don't
like it don't look at it!"
But I do like it - So there it shall stay.
the end
priceless
The infamous
Zed
was confused and thought I had
succumbed to bird flu...
she left me this beautiful haiku eulogy
Please partake in the haiku
Goodbye my friend, Jen
Parting is such sweet sorrow
Must you go so soon?
When you’ve departed
We will say this about you:
She had good traffic.
We will miss you, Jen
As will lovely Rhode Island
Bye future gov'nor!
Oh, look. She’s gone. Sniff.
Bye Jen. It was quite a blast.
See you someday hence?
Correction Haiku to Jen
What? You are not gone??
Sorry! Good news, you're still here!
Yea, the Slack still rocks!
Get well soon! Sorry for the life-death mixup.
I hope you are better already! :)
thanks Zed!
I felt better for a minute!
but now I feel sick again...
Zed
was confused and thought I had
succumbed to bird flu...
she left me this beautiful haiku eulogy
Please partake in the haiku
Goodbye to Jen Haiku in Four Parts
Goodbye my friend, Jen
Parting is such sweet sorrow
Must you go so soon?
When you’ve departed
We will say this about you:
She had good traffic.
We will miss you, Jen
As will lovely Rhode Island
Bye future gov'nor!
Oh, look. She’s gone. Sniff.
Bye Jen. It was quite a blast.
See you someday hence?
Correction Haiku to Jen
What? You are not gone??
Sorry! Good news, you're still here!
Yea, the Slack still rocks!
Get well soon! Sorry for the life-death mixup.
I hope you are better already! :)
thanks Zed!
I felt better for a minute!
but now I feel sick again...
sick
SICK AGAIN!!Well kids, I’m sick again
My husband was sick Monday & Tuesday
and he graciously gave me his cold
I have a sore throat, a pounding
headache & I'm achy
I hope it’s not bird flu...
I haven’t been around any chickens
I have also avoided bagged spinach
so I’m guessing it’s just your average cold
I am extremely unhappy
so please...
let the sympathy comments begin
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Work Sucks Haiku
And Now...The TuesdayWork Sucks Haiku
Your face makes me cringe
Don't stand so close to me please
Working with you SUCKS!
Thank You
If you have an I Hate Work Haiku Please Post as a Comment.
- the first line five syllables
- the second line seven syllables
- the third line five syllables
Monday, September 18, 2006
Woke up this morning, got myself a gun
Tony Sopranois 45 Today
James Gandolfini
"You wanna talk rules?
You wanna talk all that old-school bullshit?
Then remember this rule:
I am the motherfuckin'-fuckin'
one who calls the shots!"
-Tony Soprano
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